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Coney Island Disco Palace

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

The Coney Island Disco Palace, originally known as the Pizza Island Disney Planet, is a venue in South New Jersey (commonly mistaken by retards as Dinosaur Island), located in the Koopa district down Coney Avenue right next to the Koopa Football Stadium. The area has had a long history of being inhabited by gays and pedophiles which ultimately led to its demise in 1999 when it was shut down.

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The Coney Island Disco Palace in it's early years.

History

The Coney Island Disco Palace originally opened in 1989 as the Pizza Island Disney Planet, a Disney-themed pizzaria which served AIDS-infested pizzas. Once it was discovered that cum was the secret ingredient in the pizza, health issues arose thus forcing the restaurant to close-down in 1992 (on a lesser note, few people actually knew Mickey Mouse was molesting children visiting the restaurant). It would be 3 years until King Koopa would rent-out and revitalize the venue. King Koopa made the venue one of his castles and while he was high, he renamed it the Coney Island Disco Palace. While King Koopa was still living in the self-described Palace, he decorated it with many defective deathtraps and hired several minions with Alzheimer's to stop the Mario Brothers while he kidnapped the Princess. After one year of many failed attempts, King Koopa could no longer pay his rent and was forced to move into one of his 7 Koopa Hotels, which he still had to pay rent for and went bankrupt. In 1996, King Koopa moved out leaving the infamous Dr. Rabbit to immediately move in. Once settled in, Dr. Rabbit had established a state-of-the-art dentist facility for kids in the Coney Island Disco Palace. After a year, rumors began to spread that Dr. Rabbit had been raping children with toothbrushes and using the defective deathtraps, which were still left in the Coney Island Disco Palace, as sexual torture devices. It was reported that during his court trial, children continued to visit the Coney Island Disco Palace. In the trial's conclusion, Dr. Rabbit was found innocent but was, however, sentenced probation. Afterward, Dr. Rabbit left for Africa in his hot-air balloon to allegedly visit his kid friends. Many, however, speculate he left to avoid police. After Dr. Rabbit abandoned the Coney Island Disco Palace in 1998, famous Pop-singer Michael Jackson later inhabited the Coney Island Disco Palace following his allegations in Neverland Ranch. In 1999, rumors of Michael Jackson similiar to that of Dr. Rabbit while he was still living in the Coney Island Disco Palace began to arise. After an act of congress and a final decision by the mayor of New Jersy, the Coney Island Disco Palace was finally condemned and shut down in 1999.

A statue of King Koopa is now erected where the Coney Island Disco Palace once stood, the people of New Jersey throw poop at it on a daily basis. In 2010, Satan arosed from the depths of Hell to rape New Jersey & resurrect the Coney Island Disco Palace as a Coney Island Disco Ball.

Performers at the Coney Island Disco Palace

In it's early days, the Coney Island Disco Palace was not known for acts that were performed there.

  • The Melvins. Where they performed every single song they wrote.
  • Nirvana. Where they performed the Devalued American Dollar Purchase Incentive Track for the first and last time.
  • Milli Vanilli before they were caught miming.
  • Deth Row. The show was shortly canceled after the bassist and singer got crushed by Dr. Rabbit's hot air balloon.
  • The Inner City Posse after they released their first & only LP called The Dog Beats and before they saw the bleak future for everything & transformed into The Insane Clown Posse.

Wizardheimer's Confession

In 2007 Wizardheimer confessed to raping Oogtar at the Coney Island Disco Palace. His confession was blown over by the media when Mama Luigi soon discovered that Floss is the equivelent to his/her Wheeze.

Traps

The Dino-Pit

The Dino-Pit is one of King Koopa's most evil construction. It's a big, round hole in the floor with a dinosaur in it. People are tied up with a rope above the pit, and if the rope breaks, the victim will fall into the dino-pit and get eaten. Oogtar was the trap's first victim, but unfortunality, Santa Mario came and saved him just before the rope broke.

The Deadly Hallway

The deadly hallway is a corridor in the Disco Palace with pillars in the ceiling that will crush people beneath them. Mama Luigi once got squeezed by a pillar, but did not die. Instead, he turned into Pancake Luigi, and Mario restorded him to his normal form by combining him with a magic balloon.

The Pipe

A pathetic trap that won't kill anything. King Koopa is possibly the only person who fell for the trap. Blue Koopa originally built this trap.