Patrick Star

This article is filed under Characters.

Patrick laughing at his latest victim who had fallen victim to STERILE.

A fat-ass, pink and retarded starfish who lives next door to Spongebob and Squidward.

Significanc

He has the ability to become STERILE and terrorize entire cities, towns, even continents with his pathetic plague of STERILE. Eustace Bagg can't stand STERILE, nor can he be in the same room with STERILE. Dr. Robotnik is Patrick's partner-in-crime, who also kills people with this disease. His plan needs to be so STERILE, only he knows about it.

He has no relation with Ringo Starr or Starr of the Elite Beat Agents, who POSSIBLY look at his dodongo at night.

Is this the Krusty Krab?

• No, this is Patrick.

Is This SPARTA?!

• No, This Is Patrick!

Is This Delicious?!?

• NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!! I'm not a Delicious.

Patrick after seeing the parts above him.

Quotes

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His name's.. not... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is what the face of STERILE looks like.

Patrick approves his Chewiki article.

• "YEAH, I LOVE BEING PURPLE!"
• "Don't touch me; I'm sterile!!"
• "MY NAME'S!! NOT! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!"
• "SpongeBob, are you going to listen to a big dummy, or are you going to listen to me?"
• "No, this is Patrick."
  • "No, this is Patrick!"
    • "NO! THIS IS PATRICK!!"
• "I'm not a Krusty Krab!"
• "FISH PASTE!"
• "WE STOLE A BALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "Let's get naked!"
• "I love you."
• "FINLAND!"
• "Hey SpongeBob, can you turn me into a jar of mayonnaise so I can eat myself?"
• "You took my only food! Now I'm gonna starve."
• "Thanks, SpongeBob! I think I'll eat it now!"
• "YOURS!? You mean mine!"
• "I can't see my forehead."
• "Oh boy; 3 AM!"
• "HAHAHAHAHA!!! ITS A GIRAFFE!!"
• "I have a few questions for this blade of grass..."
• "I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo..."
• "Wumbology? The study of Wumbo?? It's first grade, SpongeBob!"
• "RECTANGLES!"
• "We're panty professionals!"
• "My shorts are wet!"
• "Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The End."
• "Eat Sperm!"
• "I don't get it."
• "When in doubt, pinky out!"
• "Who're you calling Pinhead?"
• "STUPID INFLATABLE PANTS!"
• "I could've sworn I was lying on my back!"
• "Hey, buddy! Warmed it up for ya!"
• "LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT IT!! LOOK AT IT!!! I WANT ALL OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT!!!!!"
• "WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!"
• "I want ice cream!"
• "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."
• "Is mayonnaise an instrument?"
• "Firmly GRASP IT!!"
• "Krrrrrraaaaaabbbbssss... Isn't that the red, sweaty guy you work for?"
• "We should take Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else!"
• "I hate this channel!"
• "Where's the leak, ma'am?"
• "NOBODY CALLS ME TUBBY!!"
• "LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE!"
• "JUST LIKE A GENIE! HAHAHAHAHA!"
• "Whoever's the owner of the white sedan, you left your lights on!"
• "I gotta put on my teeth and brush my pants!"
• "Have you learned nothing about sharing?"
• "Oh boy! A ketchup packet! That'll go great on this old diaper!"
• "We're on a baby hunt... and don't think we don't know how to WEEEEEEEEED 'em out!"

Criminal Record

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There are no words.

• Patrick Star has been convicted of multiple charges of robbery and murder.
  • How many murders, no one will ever know.
• He once disguised himself as a girl, then stripped naked at the Krusty Krab, causing permanent eye damage to Squidward. Both Mr. Krabs and Squidward wanted to have sex with him during his time as a lady.
• He once bothered several old people by disguising himself as a snowman.
• He once stole a balloon along with Spongebob, causing them to be arrested for 2 seconds.
• One time, he ripped apart a heart mascot's clothing in half, only to then suck on his dick afterwards, which caused many people to run for their lives, including SpongeBob SquarePants himself for some strange reason.
• Both Patrick and SpongeBob went and drove a lawnmower owned by Squidward in a graveyeard, where they moved over some graves and coincidentally angered the Flying Dutchman as a result. Their consequence was that they were to be ghosts until they learned their lessons.
• He kidnapped and touched Jeffrey the Jellyfish, who was actually a guy in a costume.
• He once talked about fair labour and freedom of speech, which are taboo subjects in China, which caused the army of mind police to arrest him and Spongebob.
• One time, he almost chopped up a baby by karate.
• He stole many different types of food.
• Raped Maid Marian twice.

Trivia

• Is currently wanted by the states of Nebraska, Colorado, New York, California, Texas, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Illinois, Missouri, and Florida for the crimes he has committed (see above).
• Is sterile.
• His name is not Rick.
• Is not a Krusty Krab.
• Once offered to pet-sit SpongeBob's pet snail, Gary, only to torture him while SpongeBob was gone.
• If you put a Krusty Krab hat on his head, he'll lose his balance and fall over, get up, only to fall over again, get up, fall over again, and will continue that cycle.
  • He claims this is because when he gets nervous he forgets how to stand.
• Hates it when people call him tubby; if you do this, he will cry and then immediately stop crying and growl at you, yell at you, and then punch you and give you a black eye.
• Entered his pet rock, Rocky, into a race. He's got nerves of steal.
  • And believe it or not, Rocky won the race, despite the fact that he's an inanimate object.
• Him and SpongeBob once stole a balloon... on free balloon day.
• Got an award for doing absolutely nothing longer than anyone else.
• Claims to love being purple.
• Once got a nose surgically placed on his face, which allowed him to be able to smell all of the bad odors in Bikini Bottom, such as Squidward's cheese, which he destroyed with a rocket launcher.