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Captain Falcon
This article is filed under Characters.Captain Falcon is from F-Zero. He likes to punch people with his trademark move, the Falcon Punch, which very rarely destroys a whole galaxy because otherwise, the elitist tourneyfags will complain. He is the third strongest creature in the universe. Also, he has actually been confirmed for Brawl SO MUCH...that it seems like he hasn't been confirmed at all. He also invented the FALGASM, which can smash even Hulk Hogan into pieces. And he's overused like no tommorow.
Captain Falcon currently holds the title of "Manliest Being in the World". He is also the only person who would not be obliterated by a Falcon Punch.
His racer, The Blue Falcon, also serves as a life-size model of his penis (which he calls the "Falcon Phoenis")
Captain Falcon's signature MOVES!
- Falcon Punch
- Falcon Kick
- Raptor Boost
- EYYYIIIH Flaming Roundhouse Kick (Dropped it in 2001)
- Erotic Shoulder Barge (Replacement for the above move)
- The Knee
- Downward Double Stomp
Captain Falcon's victims
- Hulk Hogan (Not even Hogan can stop the FALGASM!)
- Black Shadow
- Chuck Norris
- Ganon
- Greil
- Some bat guy from Mystic Knights
- King of Hyrule
- Superninja
- M.Bison
- Captain Olomar
- Shadow the Hedgehog
- Brock Samson
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Quotes
- "Black Shadow, it seems that hell is a fate that we both share."
- "FALCON PUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- "Falcon Kick!"
- "Yes! Yes!"
- "Show Me Ya Boobs!"
- "Come On!"
- "Blue Falcon!"
- "Yes!"
- "Show Me Ya Moobs!"
- "Show Me Ya Moo!"
- "Show Me Ya Moon!"
- "Show Me Ya Moose!"
- "Yaagh!!!"
- "Soviet Moods!"
- "Sodium Boobs!"
- "I AM TUROK!"
- "Of course not."
- "Yeah!"
- "Thank you. I couldn't have done it without my fans."
Trivia
- His parents are Ganondorf and Nana.
- He once teamed up with M. Bison to try to defeat Dr. Robotnik and Fat Mario in the epic argument of the century.
- His favorite NFL team is the Atlanta Falcons because, well, it involves the fucking falcons, which he's a captain of. When his team lost to the Arizona Cardinals, he decided to Falcon Punch every single one of his fucking teammates.
- He accidently once ripped his pants when he tried to save a baby from a train.
- Whenever he intimidates M. Bison, he orgasms like there's no fucking tomorrow.
- His Blue Falcon was built by Arthur, who thought it was a model penis. He was right. In exchange, Captain Falcon taught Arthur how to do a Falcon Punch. Arthur later died from doing one.
- He plans on having a new F-Zero machine called the Neo Blue Falcon.
- He also did a Youtube Poop match with Abu5sername, a.k.a., Ike from the Fire Emblem series.
- Apparently, he's got AIDS. Thankfully, Captain Falcon responded to those accusations by saying that it was a lie created by Ike.
