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Bowser Jr.
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
Bowser Jr. was Bowser's gay annoying child who was a Democrat, and had dreams of having sex with Mario and Luigi. His dad didn't disapprove of this.
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Legal Issues
- He lost a baseball game against the Yoshi Eggs in 2001, and anally-raped one of his players, a Dry Bones, as punishment.
- He was charged with the attemted murder of Morton in 2002.
- He carjacked Dr. Emmett Brown in 2003, and went back to the '80s to try and defeat Mario (he was also escaping from the police, as he was charged with an attemped murder and a rape). He ended-up crashing into a tree in 1985, destroying the DeLorean.
- Was arrested for anally-raping Miles Edgeworth in a California rest-area restroom in 1986. Phoenix Wright refused to defend him, as Edgeworth is his butt-buddy, and not Jr's.
- Was also arrested for raping Tails in another California rest-area restroom later in 1986 (while on parole). Tails enjoyed it, but Sonic said "That's no good", and sued.
- Stole The King's AMC Pacer from a Pennsylvania rest-area in 1986 and crashed into Wario's Trans-am, which pissed both the King and Wario off (the King's Pacer had left-overs from Dinner in it, which were ruined, which further pissed the King off). The Governor banned him from Pennsylvania.
- Stole a condom vending machine from a truck stop restroom in Texas in 1987.
- Raped Oogtard in a Georgia rest-area restroom in 1987. He was aquitted of the crimes, as nobody likes Oogtard. Oogtard, on the other hand, was deported to Japan (he was later deported from Japan in 1988).
- Anally-raped Ganon in a Kansas rest-area restroom in 1988. In an interview with Ganon, he said it "burned".
- Was accused of causing the Hindenberg disaster in 1988. The judge threw-out the case, and fined the plaintiff for wasting time.
Likes
- Sexually harrasing people.
- Mama Luigi
- Penises
- Chad Warden
- Rod Blagojevich (is just as retarded)
- Raping his older brothers.
- The Soviet Union
- Barak Obama
- Stalin
- Drinking his own cum
- His butt buddy.
- The Cave People (he is just as gay and retarded as them)
Liked By
- Rod Blagojevich (Jr. is the only one who likes him)
- Oogtard
- KorHosik
Dislikes
- Bowser's REAL kids, Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton and Larry (especialy Wendy because she has a vagina and Bowser Jr is afraid of vaginas)
- Rick Astley
- Life
- Nazis (much to Ludwig's dismay)
- Boobs
- Phoenix Wright (for sending him to prison several times)
Disliked By
- Bowser
- You
- Me
- Bowser's REAL kids, Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton and Larry.
- The Mario bros.
- Ganon
- Big Cheese
- Phoenix Wright
- The whole states of Missouri, Kansas, California, Texas, Georgia, and Pennsylvania (was even banned from PA)
- The country of Japan
- Anybody with an I.Q. greater than 3
- Rick Astley
- A-ha
- All musicians from the '80s
- Emo Luigi
Death
Bowser Jr. committed suicide in Los Angeles in the year 1988 by jumping from a 12-story building. He died upon impact. He had accumulated 4 counts of sexual assult (the count against Oogtard was dismissed, and Oogtar wa deported from the US), 2 for grand theft auto and 2 for reckless driving while he was in the '80s. He has yet to have risen from The Pit (YES! YES!).