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Tourettes Guy

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 19:50, 23 July 2012 by CptnSmonge (talk | contribs)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

AW, BOB SAGET!

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His profile image!

Tourettes Guy (AKA Danny) was a tourette online guy. *SNIFF SNIFF* Rest in piece. (1964-2007)

UPDATE! He's still alive and posted a fake story to avoid a lawsuit from a tourettes support group. PIIIIIIISS!

UPDATE! NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT BIGFOOT EXPECT MENS' ASSES!!!!!

When he was born

He was born in 1964 giving vomiting to cum by Mama Luigi, Froggo, Jimmy Neutron, Timmy Turner, Dr Rabbit, Link, Robotnik & George the Volcano. Then, all of the sudden... "OH SHIT!" He was born to vomit and have tourettes syndrome.

Media

Well...

Poopers

People Who Used It

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The Tourettes Guy's giving his opinion on his cookies.
Tourettes guy in cartoon form.

Often

Sometimes

Trivia

  • He's lead a pretty miserable life. I mean, he has tourettes, he gets angry easily, he has an ex-wife who is a bitch that randomly visits him. But at least he's not dead... for now.
  • Believe it or not, he has a Pokemon attack called Roar of Time. By yelling as loud as humanly possible(usually he yells "PPPPPPIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSS!!!!!!") he can distort time, causing it to skip forward or backward. Evidence of this was seen in a video when he used Roar of Time next to a calendar on the wall. The calendar flipped down a page, indicating that time had gone backward by one month.
  • He also has telekinesis. By yelling FUCK, he can move objects. Evidence of this was seen in a video when he used it to move a chair.
  • He teamed up with Nostalgia Critic and Angry Video Game Nerd to do a remake of "Cuban Pete" from The Mask.
  • He can shit a better Kool-Aid commercial.
  • Colgate toothpaste makes him feel like a piece of shit.
  • Pissing out the window and shitting out the window are two different things.
  • Once edited Toy Story 2 by replacing all of Al's dialogue with his own.
  • The only thing he's afraid of is snakes.
  • Can tear phone books in half.
  • He takes a shit in his car.
  • He loves frosted flakes, as shown by his t-shirt
  • Knows what happens when Alex Trebek has a picture of a Giraffe up his ass during an earthquake.
  • PISS!

Dislikes

AIDS?

There are no great uses of Tourettes Guy in poop but as with all good things he has not been used as carefully as he could have been. He was ultimately decreed as too offensive and was taken out forever.

Web

http://www.tourettesguy.com/ - His old site, which is now permanantly down. It thankfully doesn't have the Smirking Bitch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zAiT-KE3-k - He's still alive! SEE?

http://www.thetourettesguy.tv/ - His new site, apparently.

Quotes

Try to find a quote without cursing.

  • "PISS!"
  • "SHIT!"
  • "FUCK!"
  • "HOLY SHIT!"
  • "HOLY FUCK!"
  • "BUTT FUCK!"
  • "WHO'S THAT FAGGOT WITH THE TUBA?"
  • "I'D KILL MYSELF TOO IF MY LAST NAME WAS....COMBS!"
  • "THAT JUST MEANS SHE LIKES WHAT I LIKE."
  • "THAT'S MY ASS!"
  • "ASS!"
  • "PISSING OUT THE WINDOW, AND SHITTING OUT THE WINDOW, ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!"
  • "I'LL THROW MY SHOE AT YOUR FAGGOT ASS!"
  • "FUCK YOU KID, YOU'RE A DICK!"
  • "I DON'T WANT TO CHANGE MY PHONE COMPANY!"
  • "YOU CAN STICK ONE OF THOSE 5 CENTS SUNDAES UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!"
  • "YOU'RE A FAGGOT!"
  • "WHY DON'T YOU MAKE LIKE A BANANA, AND SHIT?!"
  • "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! WHAT'S ALL THAT DAMN NOISE?!"
  • "...FUCK SALT!"
  • "IT SOUNDS LIKE CHEWBACCA TAKING A SHIT!"
  • "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
  • "WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT MY ASS?"
  • "YOU'RE A BITCH!"
  • "DICKHEAD!"
  • "FUCKS HORSES!"
  • "NOBODY GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR ASS!"
  • "THAT'S NOT MICKEY MOUSE, THAT'S JUST TIT DIRT!"
  • "HE'S A LONG LEGGED, PISSED OFF PUERTO RICAN!"
  • "OUT OF MY WAY, BITCH!"
  • "I'LL SHOVE A CAN OF PRINGLES UP THAT PREACHER'S ASS, AND BE HAPPY TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT."
  • "THERE'S LADIES EVERYWHERE, YOU DUMBASS."
  • "BITCH! BIIIIIIIITCH!"
  • "SHE'S A BITCH. I CALLED HER A BITCH RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER TITS!"
  • "I HAVE TO LIVE IN THIS HELLHOLE! ALL YOU EVER DO IS STAY AT HOME AND PLAY WITH YOUR TITS AND LOOK AT YOUR ASS AT THE SAME TIME! DURRRRRRRR- AW FUCK!"
  • "BITCH!......I LOVE YOU."
  • "WAIT A MINUTE, YOU DICK!"
  • "SHIRLEENA? OH, SHIT!"
  • "FUCK SALT!"
  • "MAN, THESE FISHSTICKS ARE AS HARD AS TITS!"
  • "FUCK YOU!"
  • "BOB SAGET!"
  • "AH, BOB SAGET!"
  • "OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! I SAID BACON AND EGGS!"
  • "I BOUGHT YOUR TOOTHPASTE, THE ONE WITH TARTAR CONTROL. AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT!"
  • "UH HUH.....UH HUH.......ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!"
  • "FUUUUUUUCK!"
  • "ASSHOLE!"
  • "YOU CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT YOUR BALLS!"
  • "WHERE'S MY FUCKING GLASSES?"
  • "HE'S PROBABLY GETTING FUCKED IN THE ASS!"
  • "I WOULDN'T FUCK HER WITH MY OWN ASS!"
  • "WHERE'S THE PAPER TOWELS?!"
  • "MOTHERFUCKER, YOU HIT ME IN THE DICK!"
  • "YOU'RE LUCKY IT WASN'T HARD!........I MEAN THIS THING, NOT MY DICK!"
  • "SHE HAS NICE ASS. I'D LIKE TO TIT FUCK HER ASS!"
  • "DON'T TALK SHIT ABOUT TOTAL!"
  • "SUCK MY DICK! OR COCK!"
  • "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I'VE BEEN FUCKED BY A DAIRY QUEEN!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO TRY TO WALK A MILE IN MY SHIT!"
  • "I DIDN'T TALK TO NOBODY YESTERDAY. I WAS IN THE CAR TAKING A SHIT!"
  • "PPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
  • "WHO WRINKLED MY RANDY TRAVIS POSTER, PISSED IN THE SEAT, AND HID THE KEYS?"
  • "AW, WHO GIVES A FUCK? I WANTED THE FAGGOTS!"
  • "HORSE MANURE!!!"
  • "THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I'VE BEEN FUCKED BY DAIRY QUEEN!!"
  • "I'M HAVING CHEST PAINS! GOD DAMN I CAN'T BREATHE! GODDAMN IT HURTS!!"
  • "IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE 500 POUNDS OF FAT ASS ON MY CHEST!!!"
  • "YOU GET YOUR RETARDED ASS IN THE BATHROOM AND SHAVE YOUR SIDEBURNS!!!"
  • "I COULD SHIT A BETTER KOOL-AID COMMERCIAL!!!"
  • "AND ONCE YOU SEE MY DICK, YOU WON'T WANT IT!!!"
  • "WHAT'S THE POINT THAT THE WALL FACTS!?!"
  • "I WANT TO LITIGATE IT!!"
  • "I WANT TO DO THE JURORS!!"
  • "I HAVE SEX!!!"
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