Spy

This article is filed under Characters.

Overview

The Spy is one of the nine classes featured in the Valve game, Team Fortress 2. Some of his weapons include a knife, revolver, sapper (SPYS SAPPIN MAH SENTRY), and cigarettes used to disguise as the opposite team's classes... before the Pyro flames his ass.

Arsenal

Basic

• Revolver: A slow-firing, but rather powerful and accurate version of the usual pistol. Doubles for a dildo.
• Sapper: This device can attach to and slowly destroy an Engineer's buildings and can also be used as a Defibrillator if necessary.
• Knife: A butterfly knife bought at the dollar store, the preferred weapon of Spies.
• Disguise Kit: Allows the Spy to transform into his enemies, and successfully pull off identity theft.
• Cloaking Device: A convenient device in the form of a watch that temporarily cloaks you, great for sneaking past opponents and for the "Glance and Go" pervert. Unfortunately does not tell time.

Update

• The Ambassador: A diplomat from France in the form of a revolver sent to aid the Spy in blowing people's heads off. Replaces the usual Revolver.
• The "Cloak and Dagger": A Cloaking Device replacement that allows you to remain invisible for as long as you want, so long as you stay still. Perfect for waiting for an opportunity and the "Locker Room" pervert. Does not tell time.
• The "Dead Ringer": When you're shot, you leave behind a fake corpse while going invisible. Replaces the Cloaking Device, great brass pocketwatch finish! Used to tell time, but it broke.

Event

• Big Kill: Functions the same as the Revolver, but is just a different skin. Nothing special.

Quotes

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Spy "Gentlemen".

Spy "That would be your mother."

Spy "I am ze Spy."

Spy "The worst thing is that he could be in zis very room."

Spy "Ah, ma petite choufleur."

Spy "Well, off to visit your mother!"

Spy "I never really was on your side..."

Spy "Cheers."

Spy "Well, off to rape your mother!"

Spy "What's the matter? Fat got your tongue?" *Laughs*

Spy "You are such a virgin."

Spy "This is Scout, rainbows make me cry!"

Spy "He could be you, he could be me, he could even be..." *Shot*

Spy "I have been shown, who is the boss!"

The Spy always dies, you know.

Trivia

• Him and the blue Engineer are the best of lovers.
• Loves to sneak up behind unsuspecting snipers.
• Likes SAPPIN' SENTRIES.
• Was once a nigga.
• The RED Spy is the BLU Scout's father, as well as the genetic father of various others.
• Frequently produces pornography with your mother. What a fucking whore.
• Also stars in pornography with the Scout's mother. What a fucking whore.
• He never really was on your side.
• He has sex with the Administrator numorous times.
• Is especially cruel to everyone.
• Knows Scout's embarrassing secret: he cries upon seeing rainbows.
• Also knows a secret about Slippy Toad that could cost him his job if it got out.
• Not related to the two colour spies (White Spy and Black Spy) from Spy Vs. Spy, it was his favourite comic and game though.
• He knows when music is good and music is bad. For example, he once told the Scout that the Jonas Brothers suck, recommending him Iron Maiden instead.
• Enjoys wearing poorly tailored suits from the 1980s.
• One of his ancestors was Napoleon.
• He fluently speaks Spanish and Italian.
• And now he's here to fuck us! OH SHI-