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From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
Pyro in its usual spandex.
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The RED Pyro, unmasked.


The Pyro (gender unknown) is a character in the game Team Fortress 2 and is the arch-enemy of the Spy. Its hobbies including burning things, setting things on fire, and killing people with its flamethrower.

Pyro's main dislike is being blown up (which happens A LOT).



  • Flamethrower: Used short-range for burning his enemies to a crisp. Can also blow people back.
  • Shotgun: Ugh, another shotgun...anyhow, used for slightly longer ranges.
  • Axe: A novelty from Pyro's time as a failure of a firefighter, now for hacking open your ribcage instead of a locked door.


  • Backburner: Replacing your Flamethrower, it does more damage when you burn the backs of enemies at the expense of your airblaster.
  • Flare Gun: Can set distant foes aflame. Replaces the Shotgun.
  • Axtinguisher: Does less damage normally than the Axe, but does 100% mini-crit (from the front) and crit (from behind) damage when they're on fire. You'd figure the barbed wire alone would do more damage, right?
  • Postal Pummeler: One day the Pyro decided to pull a mailbox out of the ground and give his enemies an "express delivery" from Hell. Substituting the Axe, it works the same as the Axtinguisher, but other than blunt trauma, what kind of extra damage does it have? The sharp edges of the letters in the mailbox?
  • Conscientious Objector: You are now a conscientious objector to being DEAD, thanks to this protest sign with which you can put on ANY IMAGE and I mean ANY IMAGE (Provided you have the tool)! Replaces the Axe.
  • Phlogistinator: Hailing from another dimension, this Flamethrower charges up "Mmmph" as the Pyro burns players, unleashing full health and crit refill for a few seconds at full charge. Why worry about Enforcers when you can fix up your health with this? Unfortunately does not have an airblast.
  • Manmelter: This raygun that adds a crit for every player he extinguishes with it. Talk about Help-and-hurt. Replaces the Shotgun.
  • Third Degree: Fitted with a hot coil, this high-tech Axe transfers damage dealt to enemies to all other enemies connected by Medic beams. Just watch as a Heavy-Medic Combo get chopped down a few seconds into their rampage.
  • Rainblower: A bizarre set of brass horns that sprays colourful bubbles and rainbows? Only in the Pyro's imagination. When you look at it, you'll see just another Flamethrower, but the surrounding area gets bathed in flames during a taunt for surprise destruction. Can only be seen by those wearing the Pyrovision Goggles, which allows other classes to see the fucked up world of Pyroland.
  • Lollichop: A delicious lollipop for feeding your friends! Ok. It's actually just another Axe (The Pyro seriously needs therapy), but you can see the lollipop if you're wearing the Pyrovision Goggles.
  • Necro Smasher: A miniature replica of the hammer used in the World's Largest Strongman Machine. Not only the classic tool for testing your strength, but also a great blood-splattering, bone-breaking bludgeon! Replaces the Axe.


  • Homewrecker: A hammer that does more damage to Engineer buildings, although I don't see the point because you could just use your Flamethrower or Flare Gun. Can also whack enemy sappers off friendly buildings. At least it's actually handy now.
  • Degreaser: For less burn damage you switch weapons faster. The logic to this? None at all, but handy for Pyros who are forced to go melee or shotgun.
  • Powerjack: This hefty hammer deals more damage and restores health on a successful kill. Oh I get it. When you're struggling, you JACK their POWER by taking their health. Comes with extra move speed and damage vulnerability to make kills with this a gamble.
  • Back Scratcher: This tough rake deals more damage, but Medics give less healing to you. You'll have to make do scavenging health crates, which in turn give you more health!
  • Detonator: The Pyro can now detonate his Flares remotely, starting his own deadly fireworks display to the tune of Scouts running around shouting "FOI-YAH! FOI-YAH!"
  • Reserve Shooter: Juggle 'em up with fire and a compression blast, shoot 'em down with the 5 second Mini-Crit bonus for airborne targets this new shotgun brings.
  • Scorch Shot: Flares from this flare gun push back enemies. Knockback might not sound too threatening at first, but then all enemies in radius are set on fire. Now are you scared?
  • Bat Outta Hell: This gruesome skull on a spine gives new meaning to the word "headbanging" as you whack your enemies with it! In fact, you can make this weapon by tearing out your own skull and spine...actually, don't.


  • Sharpened Volcano Fragment: Carved from The Pit's finest obsidian, this glowing Axe alternative sets opponents on fire. The Circle of Fire is complete.
  • Maul: It's a weapon all the way from Planet Mars! But...functions the same as the Homewrecker. Only bother if you like how it looks.
  • Neon Annihilator: One night in Hong Kong and this neon sign was stolen by the Pyro to make any wet living thing's life a misery, especially if they keep dropping into the water on 2fort to escape afterburn.
  • Freedom Staff: A staff with a golden eagle on top. Originally used by Kofi Annan to beat many a great dictator's head in, it has since been stolen and is for some reason now in the TF2 team's arsenal.
  • Ham Shank: Don't run! It's just ham! No! It really is! Who knew that such a mass of meat could be a useful bludgeon?
  • Nostromo Napalmer: From a distant corner of the galaxy in a lonely spaceship comes this xenomorph-busting flamethrower. When worn with the MK 50 helmet, does extra damage against alien Scouts but their melee does extra damage too, so watch yourself. The creature from the planet Bonk is persistent.


  • Saxxy: Only a select few received this coveted statuette of good old Saxton said to have been carved by King Midas/Sauron specially for the Saxxy Awards replay contest. Now MORE people are turning their enemies into gold and holding bragging rights!
  • Memory Maker: Given only to those who made the finals of the Second Saxxy Awards, this camera makes the ideal dual-purpose video capture device: For bludgeoning people with it and recording a video of you bludgeoning people with it!

Special Note: When the Pyro wields the Degreaser, the Powerjack plus a hat called the "Attendant" together, he leaves a calling card on his victims. Have a nice day!


  • OW



  • Does heavy amounts of LSD, causing it to believe that it is blowing bubbles, spreading fun, and giving lolipops to babies, when in reality, it is blowing Scouts away with flares, spreading fires, and giving axes to the skulls of Heavies.
  • Was once killed by Soldier's Falcon Punch, only to be brought back to life because it's used to that sort of thing.
  • Yearns to start a rock and roll band when TF2 is over, and can often be seen playing its axe like a guitar to shitty rap music.
  • Medic has agreed to be violinist for Pyro's band, but first the never-ending war in Team Fortress must end.
  • Has a potential immunity to Super AIDS. This has yet to be confirmed, however.
  • Can perform a Gadoken, as seen in some videos.
  • Looks like Adrian Shepard.
  • Its gender is often the subject of debate and nobody is quite sure on who exists under that baggy suit.
  • Has sued the man in the gas mask from that lame-looking horror movie, My Bloody Valentine.
  • Owns a pink purse as seen in the respawn rooms in TF2.
  • If you get a kill with this class, people will burn up with anger pretty easily. Heh heh, get it? Burn up? Pyro? Heh heh, eehh...
  • It's a flamer. Lol, another fire joke...
  • Has multiple Pokemon, all fire types.
  • Has the same voice actor as the Spy, ironically.
  • Worked with the Demoman on the pyrotechnics for KISS in the '70s and early '80s.
  • Its suit contains asbestos.
  • The Pyro spends some of its spare time helping the British Army control a mutant outbreak in London.

See Also[edit]