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Solid Snake

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: Solid Snake/Old Snake/David/Iroquois Pliskin
Appears In: Metal Gear
Nationality: American
Occupation(s): Government agent
Played By: David Hayter, Akio Otsuka

Does Solid Snake really need to be explained?

Sexuality[edit]

Snake has been openly bisexual for most of his life following Metal Gear Solid. This was first hinted at in a biography of his life written by the famed author Terry Pratchett, which states that although he is "so obviously gay with Otacon", he is also "so obviously straight with every woman he ever meets". He told Otacon that he was bisexual, which Otacon quickly spread all over the Internet. Snake didn't mind that, and reveals his sexuality to every attractive male he sees. In fact, the original Metal Gear Solid has two different endings: one in which Snake ends up with Meryl, and another where he and Otacon make sweet monkey love.

In addition to his bisexuality, Snake also has a fetish for cardboard boxes.

Quotes[edit]

  • Kept ya waiting, huh?
  • I should've known you were behind this, Colonel.
  • You know him?
  • Metal Gear?
  • METAL GEAR!!
  • By...farting. Are you kidding me?!
  • Damn!
  • How deep does it go?
  • Mei Ling! Samus took her clothes off!
  • How about we capture one so we could see what they taste like!
  • Are you kidding me!?
  • It must be a female.
  • Colonel, It's me! I'm fighting myself!
  • Raiden!
  • Damn kid.
  • Look at the size of that penis! I couldn't even lift that thing! And he's swinging it around like it's nothing!
  • I FEEL ASLEEP!
  • You've got a great butt.
  • Infinite ammo.
  • You're right. We are animals.
  • What kind of weirdo puts his face on the bow of a ship, anyway?

Trivia[edit]

  • Is a very stealthy person, often seen by his neighbors sneaking through his yard past his gardeners.
  • He has a bad habit of repeating things said to him in the form of a question.
    • He has a bad habit of repeating things said to him in the form of a question, huh?
  • Is the mentor and teacher of the Spy.
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This Solid Snake exits your dreams and enters your nightmares.
  • He was ranked 5th place in Screwattack's top ten coolest video game characters in video game history.
  • He was ahead of Guile, Mega Man, the King of Katamari Damacy, Earthworm Jim, and Ryu Hayabusa, yet he was defeated by Lara Croft, Dante from Devil May Cry, Cloud Strife, and Duke Nukem.
  • His name is not permanent; when in a liquid form he is Liquid Snake, and can also be Gaseous Snake or Solidus Snake, which is sometimes a rare fusion between Solid Snake and Liquid Snake. Some witnesses have reported seeing a Plasma Snake and Condensate Snake, as well, but these last two are very rare.
  • When he's naked, he suddenly transforms into the almighty Naked Snake, which also happens to be the codename of his father.
  • He fell in love with Bridget and did not yet found out that Bridget is a boy.
  • In fan art, the Pokemon Snivy is occasionally drawn dressed like Snake, often called "Solid Snivy". Enemies of Solid Snivy include Tepig Boss and Revolver Oshawott.
  • In Metal Gear Solid 4, he became Old Snake. Old Snake was Snake, but older.
  • He can recognize people based on the way they walk.
  • He has a very solid snake.
  • Hates Sonic the Hedgehog for no apparent reason. Probably because Sonic (and his friends) were invited to go to the Olympic Games with Mario (and his friends) instead of him.
  • Has a Native American cousin named "Iroquois Pliskin".
  • Enjoys playing Castlevania, Suikoden, Zelda, Smash Bros., and Super Mario Sunshine.
  • Otacon once sent him on a mission to photograph Metal Gear. Snake responded by sending Otacon photos of male chests.
  • In the King's Epic Adventure timeline, Snake becomes a close companion to King Harkinian after encountering him running amok in the desolate Mushroomy Kingdom. Snake provides the King and himself with the more reliable transportation of his box, allowing them to travel with much more ease in between the various dimensions travelled. Snake is often the voice of reason during the King's escapades, and has proven to be a great aid to the King on numerous occasions. He occasionally fights battles himself, and initially helped the King defeat Applelord, the first mini-boss encountered. Otocon later joins them on their quest alongside Snake in addition through Metal Gear MK II, although MGMII prefers not to travel in Snake's box.
  • Snake? What happened?!
    • Snake? SNAAAAAAAKKKKKKKEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!