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Rainbow Dash

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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You are looking at the best pony.

Name: Rainbow Dash
Appears In: My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Sex: Female
Nationality: Equestrian
Occupation(s): Weather Patrol & Athlete
Played By: Ashleigh Ball

Rainbow Dash was the best pony character. That was, until Pinkie Pie turned her into a cupcake.


The weather patrolgirl, she was an awesome pegasus pony who was even better at weather than Derpy. Raised in the sky, she became an orphan at the age of 4. Spending years at flight camp, she discovered the joys of winning after racing some hot horses with no eyes. She's apparently the only pony to ever do a Sonic Rainboom which is total bullshit because there is no way anypony could have known what it was if it never happened.

She also may or may not be a lesbian.

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Rainbow Dash is super pissed off at her new form.


  • Flying
  • The Wonderbolts
  • Females
  • Reading
  • Eggheads
  • Tank


  • Those inappropiate 4chan comments about Rainbow Dash! (They usually devolve into cumming inside her...)
  • Her forms.
  • Slow Ponies
  • Losing


  • "Hey. I could clear this sky in ten seconds flat."
  • "And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?"
  • "Aw, yeah!"
  • "Nopony knows! You know why? Because everypony who's ever come in...has never...come...OUT!"
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Rainbow defines the greatest talk ever.
  • "Did you see Applejack's slick moves out there? What an athlete. This week she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome."
  • "See? I'd never leave my friends hanging!"
  • "What did you read... the Egghead's Guide to Running?"
  • "I hate losing..."
  • "It needs to be about 20% cooler."
  • "My life is ruined!"
  • "I'm so glad I haven't been replaced by a bucket of turnips!"
  • "I hate to admit it to myself and would really hate to admit it to my friends, but... I love this story, I... I... Love reading! (Dramatic sound) I'm an egghead."
  • "I still say you're nutty, but hey, I've done lots of nutty things."
  • "Wishing you a happy birthday Hub; from the bottom of my heart!"
  • "I-I don't even like cake!"
  • "Swag."
  • "Well, duh! It IS Tim Allen!"


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A minor example of what Rainbow Dash does
  • She can clear the skies in ten seconds flat.
  • She does not know about the Elements of Harmony.
  • She is an egghead for reading.
  • She has an alternate version of herself called Rainbow Dish who is played by Tim Allen
  • She hates losing.
  • Her life is ruined.
  • She wishes The Hub a happy birthday...
    • ...And she does not like cake.
  • Is Pinkie Pie's BEST FRIEND...
    • However this was proven wrong when Pinkie made her into a cupcake.
      • But it was all a dream due to her reading porno magazines.
  • She also works in a factory that makes rainbows.
  • She think's that she is faster than Sonic the Hedgehog. Bitch Please...
  • After FIM premiered, she actually went on a killing spree, apparently destroying Discord and Yoshi.
    • In fact thats how Yoshi actually died in WalrusGuy's last YouTube Poop instead of being killed by Link.
  • Is better than you.
  • She has a turtle as a pet. Unbelievably, her turtle can fly!
  • She is a tomboy.
  • She was cut in half by Fluttershy with a chainsaw. Twilight Sparkle and Spike later made an attempt to revive her, but it was to no avail. However, she rose from the Pit and awoke from a coma.
  • Twilight created a robotic copy of her called R-Dash 9000
  • She is behind the destruction of Six Flags New Orleans. We told you Hurricane Katrina did not destroy it.
  • She also recently destroyed Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom!
  • Along with Pinkie Pie, she had a form before Friendship is Magic.
    • However, only YTStaff ComeAtMe knows about this form, so if you ask him abou it, he will tell you to fuck off.
  • She holds a tendency to get a little bit suspicious in certain areas.
  • She now has a new form, which she transforms to whenever someone feels like making her human. She hates this form, just like her other one.