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James Bond

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas

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Name: James Bond "007"
Appears In: 007 Series
Sex: Male
Age: Ageless
Nationality: English
Occupation(s): 00 Agent
Played By: Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, & Daniel Craig

CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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"The Man With the Golden Gun".


James Bond is a "00" agent that works for the British SIS/MI6. Throughout the years, he has stopped many evil madmen from either taking over or destroying the world.

He has also had sex with more women than most characters ever do in the Poop Dimension, or in the real world for that matter.

Bond has been portrayed by a number of actors throughout the years, and two in particular became notable within the YouChew community - Daniel Craig, a favorite of IntermissionForBunny and YouChew Trading Card #007, and Sean Connery, whose pedophile hunting escapades made him the star injoke of the Neon Castle era.



  • Dr. No
    • The rest of the villains in the series.
  • Stirred vodka martinis
  • His Walther PPK


  • "The name's Bond. James Bond."
  • "Shaken, not stirred."


  • He likes his vodka martinis shaken, not stirred.
  • He primarily uses a Walther PPK.
  • He has a cousin named James Bond Jr.
  • Also has an Anglo-Japanese son named James Suzuki Bond, who's mother is Kissy Suzuki from "You Only Live Twice".
  • Once suffered from a head injury, causing him to forget everything and live as a Japanese Fisherman.
  • He knows judo.
  • He is also very intelligent, and sometimes understands his enemies' technologies even better than the villains themselves.
    • He also outsmarts them on a constant basis (like when he disguised himself as his wax figure to assassinate Francisco Scaramanga).
  • Austin Powers is a stylized parody of him.
  • Bond villains always love telling James Bond about his death instead of trying to kill him.
  • Speaking of death, he is immortal, and is blessed with eternal youth.
  • Was once described by M as "...a sexist, misogynist dinosaur, a relic of the Cold War, whose boyish charms, though wasted on me, obviously appealed to that young woman I sent out to evaluate you." Point taken.
  • He takes such great pride for his Goldeneye 007 game on the Nintendo 64. In fact, he felt a grand sense of pride when Screwattack named it the best FPS game ever (then again, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 wasn't out during that time, so yeah).
  • Speaking of Goldeneye 007, a remake on the Wii now exists and it got ported to the Playstation 3.
  • The songs from his series are part of a Youtube Poop sub-fad of THIS VIDEO CONTAINS WIN. In this sub-fad, his songs are edited with "pingas" replacing several words (Examples: "Live and Let PINGAS" [see right], or "The Man With the Golden PINGAS").
  • Did you know that way back in the 50s they tried to make him American? In a TV adaptation of Casino Royale? Played by Barry Nelson and everything! Yeah, it kinda sucked. Sadly this means that technically Barry Nelson was the first to play James Bond if you think about it.
  • He was married once. Sad story, that.