Hank Hill

This article is filed under Characters.

Dusty old bones, full of green dust! - Hank's unofficial nickname by the Community of Arlen, Texas.

Hank Hill is the main character of the show King of the Hill. He is the assistant manager at Strickland Propane from Arlen, Texas, and should be approached with caution.

Family

• Peggy Hill (Wife, a former substitute teacher that speaks terrible Spanish, yet somehow got three awards for it). Known to exercise very annoying behaviors/speech/facial expressions.
• Bobby Hill (Son, who has little in common with him)
• Cotton Hill (R.I.P.) (Father, a WWII veteran that hates Japs and his own son)
• Tilly Hill (Mother, divorced Cotton; currently lives in Arizona)
• Luanne Platter, his obnoxious niece who, thanks to an an abusive mother and criminal father, currently resides in Hank's house.
• Has a half-brother named G.H., short for Good Hank.
• As well as a Japanese half-brother, named Junichiro, who is pretty much a Japanese Hank Hill.
• One of his cousins, Dusty, is the bass guitarist of bearded super-band ZZ Top.

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The title card for the show that he is the star of.

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Hank Hill after discovering he was trapped inside of Pikachu's body. And seeing the picture below him.

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He got surgically attached to Bobby's right arm once.

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Gaston after learning about propane and propane accessories.

Hank has gathered everyone he can for the murder of zombies worldwide!

Hank is mesmerized by the current music that's blasting through his headphones.

Likes

• His family
• His truck
• Propane
  • Propane Accessories
• Alamo Beer
• American Football
  • The Dallas Cowboys
    • The Houston Texans (At one point at least. We're not sure of what he thinks of them as of today.)
• His tools
• His garage
• Texas
• George W. Bush
• Saying that he's gonna kick your ass.
  • Kicking people's asses.
• Standing on the sidewalk while drinking beer.
• Buck Strickland (Hank is Buck's bitch.)
• This new generation of music.
• His lawn
• His house
• Dale Earnhardt (R.I.P.) (It's unknown if he likes his son Dale Earnhardt Jr. or not.)
• "BWWWAAAAUUUUHHHHHH!!"

Dislikes

• Bobby's interests
• Soccer
• That he was born in New York.
  • Especially the fact that he was born in the woman's restroom at the New York Yankees' Yankees Stadium (By that, I mean the one that the Yankees played for about 100 years, not the new one.).
• Getting kicked in the balls by his son.
• Losing in Punch-Out!! to his son.
• Jackasses
• Charcoal
• Canadians
• Jeff Gordon (He thinks that he gets anything that he wants because of his daddy.)
• Bill Clinton
• Hippies

Quotes

• That boy ain't right.
• What's the point in arguing?!
• I'm gonna kick your ass!
• *idiotic laugh*
• Now that's just asinine.
• I must hide my nudity! (while in his underwear)
• There better be a naked cheerleader under your bed! (when seeing Bobby with a dirty cheerleaders' uniform)
• I've got the strangest feeling someone's gonna kick his ass.
• I tell ya hwhat.
• I sell propane and propane accessories.
• Gotdangit Bobbeh!
• BOGWAAAAAGH!!!
• Let me tell ya, Bobby; there's nothing funny about semens. It's a medical disorder.
• I like this new generation of music!
• Son of a BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
• Uh, Peggy, I can see your what-nots.
• Yep!
• Shut up, Dale...
• Why would anyone want to lick a stamp that has Bill Clinton on it?
• We drove 2,000 miles for this?
• That better not be what I think it is... and I think it's a good lawyer! Is it a Detroit?
• Bobby, I've got propane in my urethra!

Trivia

• When he came across a pimp from Oklahoma City, he claimed he was the King of Pimps in Texas.
• He once accidentally sold cocaine and cocaine accessories. He didn't know what he was doing until his dog Ladybird sniffed it out.
• One time, he was surgically attached to his son's left arm. How that happened and why that's even remotely possible is beyond us.
• He has a very narrow urethra. So narrow, in fact, that his sperm marches out of it saying "Hut! Two, three, four- Hut! Two, three, four-"
• The Pyro is Hank's favorite customer at Strickland Propane.
• He likes seeing people learn more about and using propane and propane accessories, like this young, handsome fellow on the right.
• Like all Texans, he generally disapproves of faggots and homosexuality.
• His family and friends once drove all the way to Springfield to see their team play football against Bart's team. Hank was bitter they went 2000 miles to witness Arlen be defeated.
• He spends much of his spare time making prank calls to stores such as Home Depot, asking where the hardware department is.
• He's gonna kick your ass!!
• Ironically, he doesn't like this new generation of music.

Yep.