Notice: We are aware that many of the Chewiki’s images are still broken. We promise: we will try our best to fix it, but we don't guarantee that the fix will be trivial.

Law For Kids

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
Scrooge McDuck isn't going to help you; please help clean these articles. This article needs to be cleaned up. You can help by editing it to make it cleaner and pitching suggestions on the discussion page.(August 6, 2010)

Typical appearance of a cultist.
Stolen from a victim standing in a No-Parking zone.

Law For Kids is an evil cult that currently dictates Arizona. The cult violently restricts various things, and offenders will have their driver's licenses revoked.


Law for Kids started off as an innocent endeavor to teach children about various laws in Arizona. Some of these being the consequences of getting into fights in school, bringing alcohol or other paraphernalia to school, and staying up past curfew. It was innocent enough, but Arizona ranks...49th out of 56 states (at the time Law for kids was around, 48th) and the affects started to show when they started getting more outrageous.

Policemen were shown to arrest passengers in cars who were doing no wrong because "Even the passenger gets in trouble". Kids riding scooters will be pulled over (as well as you can if you're on a sidewalk) because they weren't wearing enough protection. Graffiti artists are apparently immediately jailed without a fair trial. It caused some people to look back at other cases and realize that in the case of the two boys being suspended for fighting were the only ones who go into trouble, while the boy who provoked the two into a fight in the first place received no punishment.

Even the police became so confused that they thought "Even the police get in trouble." Lines were blurred, offenses ran rampant, people were defying physics, and utter chaos insured. It was in this chaos, the following became more or less established...

The cultists don't allow:

  • Sitting on a bench during a crescent moon.
  • Standing in a parking zone.
  • Displaying any emotions.
  • Spilling root beer in a sink.
  • Wearing grey shirts.
  • Stealing a CD, rather than pirating it.
  • Driving a car whilst drinking any substance, especially beer.
  • Possessing plastic bags filled with broccoli.
  • People who don't drive. (They claim even they get in trouble.)
  • Using excessive punctuation.
  • Getting a black eye.
  • Not mashing your pencil on paper.
  • Driving through a green stoplight.
  • Fighting for self-defense.
  • Drinking sapphire blue liquids.
  • Not expelling and/or suspending people from school.


  • Robotnik has been harassed by Law For Kids many times.
  • It's rumored that this cult is lead by either Waluigi or I.M. Meen. This has yet to be confirmed. However, recent rumors have revealed that neither one of them are the leader of this group, but are the vice presidents for the much greater enemy that runs this cult. This greater power who controls this group is... Me!!!
  • They own nearly every driver's license in Arizona.
  • Their only weakness is eggs, which are very destructive to them.
  • Want to destroy Texas for no apparent reason whatsoever.
  • That guy in the picture is NOT Charles Emerson Winchester III!
  • They do not take well to people from outside Arizona.
  • Optimus Prime was once pulled over, and tried to get out of the ticket by transforming into his robot form, but the policeman saw through his clever act.