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Willy Wonka
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
Willy Wonka is a crazy pedophile that owns a candy factory. This candy is alleged to be made out of little boys' nuts immersed into little girls' love juice but some say that it is a rare chocolate found in Bosnia.
Likes
- Candy
- Taking people on psychotic boat rides.
- Making sure people get mindfucked.
- Wonking his willy.
- Yelling out "You Get Nothing!" and "You Lose!" to random people.
- Looking like a cross between Marilyn Manson and the Russian lady from Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull.
Dislikes
- Lex Luthor (Says that pedophilia is WRONG!!!!)
- Gum
- Sonic (Says that pedophilia is no-good, although it is very well known that Sonic himself is a pedophile.)
- Xavier
- Xavier: Renegade Angel
- Woody (His mission is to kill Buzz Lightyear, and Wonka doesn't want to see that happen.)
- Oompa Loompa Unions
- Heaven
- Jesus Christ
- Rick Astley
Liked By
Disliked By
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- Lex Luthor
- The King (Willy Wonka's candy is causing children to not eat their dinner.)
- Phoenix Wright
- Hershey's
- Reese's
- Cadbury
- Rick Astley
- The Money you could be saving with GEICO.