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Willy Wonka
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Revision as of 07:29, 28 October 2024 by 31.166.202.202 (talk)
This article is filed under Characters.
[[Category:Characters - Appears in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory]]
Willy Wonka, commonly known as Willy Wanker, is a crazy pedophile that owns a candy factory. This candy is alleged to be made out of little boys' nuts immersed into little girls' love juice but some say that it is a rare chocolate found in Bosnia. Still, some others think say that his candy is crap coated LSD tablets.
Likes[edit]
- Candy
- Taking people on psychotic boat rides.
- Making sure people get mindfucked.
- Yelling out "You Get Nothing!" and "You Lose!" to random people.
- Looking like a cross between Marilyn Manson and the Russian lady from Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull.
- Seeing MacArthur Park burning in the dark.
- Sarcastically making you tell him more about random things (such as Tony Romo or the iPhone 5)
Hates[edit]
- Lex Luthor (Says that pedophilia is WRONG!!!!)
- Gum
- Sonic (Says that pedophilia is no-good, although it is very well known that Sonic himself is a pedophile.)
- Oompa Loompa Unions
- Rick Astley
- Not having the recipes to his candies ever again.
Trivia[edit]
- His chocolate factory was once just a standard chocolate factory, until it one day closed, only to reopen as one of the weirdest places on earth.
- His father was a dentist that prohibited candy. In fact, he one time burned all of Willy's Halloween candy, the dick.
- After this, he ran away from his home, claiming to go to such chocolaty places as Bavaria and the like.
- After realizing that he was growing old, he decided to give his chocolate factory to the winner out of the 5 golden tickets.
Quotes[edit]
- "I'm EXTRAORDINARILY busy, sir."
- "WRONG, SIR, WRONG!"
- "...SO YOU GET.. NOTHING!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!"
- "You can suck 'em, and suck 'em, and suck 'em and they'll never get smaller, never!"
- "Strawberries taste like strawberries, schnoz berries taste like schnoz berries!"
- "Are the fires of Hell a-glowing?"
- "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!"