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Fred Phelps
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.God hates America, vile land of the sodomite damned. It is the most ungrateful and the most arrogant, anti-God nation that ever existed. Amen. If you are a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, you can suck dead Fred Phelps's smelly, moldy rotten cock, you vile piece of shit!
Things Done For Humanity
Let it be known that Fred Phelps has done a great deal for man-kind. He has stopped Ganon repeatedly in the past and has slain many a Vice President. He is also in Terminator: Salvation.
Trivia
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- Every person who dies splits Hell wide open.
- Jon Stewart's comedian sidekick is WHEEL GATOR.
- He wants free popcorn.
- He thinks every problem in America is due to buttsex.
- Uses homosexuality as a scapegoat to pretty much everything
- Is sexist because he told his wife to "Get back in the kitchen".
- His son is NOT Michael Phelps, the nine-time gold medal winner in the Beijing 2008 Olympics.
- He is banned from entering the United Kingdom.
- One time, he actually supported the works of Saddam Hussein.
- Then again, when Saddam was executed, he stated that Saddam was now in Hell.
- He is certainly going to Hell.
- He thinks every true Christian should earn a law degree.
- He also thinks Lady Gaga has a "whore’s forehead". For once, that's something said by him that's actually correct!
- He's an Eagle Scout as a kid.
- His mother died when he was six. Mercy kill.
- He was a drug addict back in the '70s. And he still is now...
- The Ku Klux Klan thinks he's insane. When you're a racist nutjob and the freaking KKK hate you, you know that you're doing something wrong.
- He sued Ronald Reagan for appointing a U.S. ambassador to the Vatican, saying this violated separation of church and state.
- He ran for Governor of Kansas three different times, coming in dead last every single time. Serves him right!
- He's a movie star! Why aren't the Hollywood sluts coming to him?!
- Ironically enough, he is now in Hell himself. (PRAISE BE TO YEVON)
Quotes
- YOU'RE GONNA EAT YOUR BABIES.
- THERE WAS OLD BUSH, CRITICIZING CHINA BECAUSE THEY DON'T LET THEIR PEOPLE HAVE FREEDOM OF RELIGION AND SPEECH, AND BRAGGING THAT AMERICA DOES. YEAH.
- GOD HATES GENITALS!
- YOU TWEAKED HIS NOSE YOU JACKASS!
- P-please Jon... Not so hard!
