Masturbation

Masturbation is the act of playing with one's sexual organs. For men, it only requires one's hand and one's penis. For women, a dildo is used to masturbate, or one can use their fingers. Masturbation strictly excludes any partners, otherwise it becomes sex. There have been a few rumours that if one masturbates too much, they will get hairy palms or go blind.

Places/Situations In Which One Would Masturbate

• At home.
  • In one's home bathroom.
  • In one's own bedroom.
  • While on the computer, watching porn.
  • Whenever playing Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball.
• At the drive-in.
• In the old man's Ford.
• Behind the bushes.
• In one's basement.
• Definitely not in public, I'll tell you what. Infact, if one ever does that, even in the dark, they will be just like Pee-Wee Herman.

People Who Love To Masturbate

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• Scratch
• Grounder (As seen in the video on this page.)
• Robotnik (Especially on the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video.)
• Sonic
• Tails
• Birdo
• Chowder
• Feghoot (Three times per day, in fact.)
• Amy Rose
• Most of those who watch any and all porn.
• Zoophiliacs, since real sex with animals is illegal.
• Otakus by both Japanese and American definition.
• Bald Bull (Especially when he's in the tub.)
• Walruses
• Soundwave
• Dracula
• Homer Simpson
• Jenny Wakeman
• Austin Powers

People Who Made Others Masturbate

• Mama Luigi (Did it at least once during a time when Yoshi wanted a bedtime story.)

People Who Get Masturbated On

• Dr. Robotnik (By Sonic the Hedgehog and Scratch.)
• Mung Daal (By Chowder.)
• Tails (By Sonic the Hedgehog.)
• Doc Louis (By King Hippo & Aran Ryan.) {For King Hippo, the Doc ended up being a God-like entity and blew the king's head off. As for Aran Ryan, well Aran just ended up becoming more powerful than before.}
• Jenny Wakeman (Either by his human boyfriend Brad, or the Silver Shell, his robot boyfriend.)