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Willy Wonka

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 07:29, 28 October 2024 by 31.166.202.202 (talk)
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Willy's dancing to a ritual for hopes to find some new children to have around.

Name: Willy Wonka
Appears In: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Sex: Male
DOB: 1911 (age 112–113)
Nationality: German-American

[[Category:Characters - Appears in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory]]

Willy Wonka, commonly known as Willy Wanker, is a crazy pedophile that owns a candy factory. This candy is alleged to be made out of little boys' nuts immersed into little girls' love juice but some say that it is a rare chocolate found in Bosnia. Still, some others think say that his candy is crap coated LSD tablets.

Likes

Hates

  • Lex Luthor (Says that pedophilia is WRONG!!!!)
  • Gum
  • Sonic (Says that pedophilia is no-good, although it is very well known that Sonic himself is a pedophile.)
  • Oompa Loompa Unions
  • Rick Astley
  • Not having the recipes to his candies ever again.

Trivia

  • His chocolate factory was once just a standard chocolate factory, until it one day closed, only to reopen as one of the weirdest places on earth.
  • His father was a dentist that prohibited candy. In fact, he one time burned all of Willy's Halloween candy, the dick.
  • After this, he ran away from his home, claiming to go to such chocolaty places as Bavaria and the like.
  • After realizing that he was growing old, he decided to give his chocolate factory to the winner out of the 5 golden tickets.

Quotes

  • "I'm EXTRAORDINARILY busy, sir."
  • "WRONG, SIR, WRONG!"
  • "...SO YOU GET.. NOTHING!! YOU LOSE!! GOOD DAY, SIR!!"
  • "You can suck 'em, and suck 'em, and suck 'em and they'll never get smaller, never!"
  • "Strawberries taste like strawberries, schnoz berries taste like schnoz berries!"
  • "Are the fires of Hell a-glowing?"
  • "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts!"