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Uctions
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Uctions (also known as Energon) are a universal power supply. They are commonly used in assembling powerful mechanical devices, nice computers, and instruction books. Mario has a deep passion for Uctions, claiming to own them almost entirely. They can also be used as energy for giant effing robots.
Uctions are also used to make Magic Drugs and Coca-Cola, and can be used as rennet for cheese.
Trivia
- The Hairspray Queen and Dr. Robotnik claim to own uctions, but it was recently proven to the contrary.
- Robotnik would have had nearly twice the amount of his current uction possession if Fat Mario hadn't already claimed them his own during a competition of Beautiful Heads.
- Uctions is also a brand of cereal.
- Daniel J D'Arby has gambled repetedly for the possession of his own uctions, but has failed to this point.
- Was also revealed to be the power source of the alternative Vice President for The Yoshi Regime.
- They might have killed off elmullet.
- One of Coca-Cola's secret ingredients is a powder made from crystallized Uctions.
- The Transformers drink Energon as beer. They even get drunk off it.
- In Arizona, one of their casinos are called "Uction Casino".
- Sometimes humans who are 12.5% Android use this as the power source for their weapons,rather than nuke energy or sun energy.
Chosen Wielders of Uctions
Only a "few" people are chosen to harness the incredible power of Uctions, here is a list of some of them:
- Mario
- Dr. Robotnik
- Fat Mario
- Mr. X
- Tap Tap
- The Insane Clown Posse
- Megatron
- Q
- Shaquille O'Neal (Temporarily lost them when he was in Kazaam; regained them when he won 4 NBA Finals Championships.)
- Jackie Chan
- Phil Harnage
- Jesus Christ
- Toad (He has been reported to meet qualifications. It has also been rumored that he is being taught how to use uctions by Fat Mario.)
Luigi shows what Uctions are really like.
- Captain Falcon (Those who say otherwise will get FALCON PUANCHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- Travis Touchdown (Fuck off if any of you motherfuckers think otherwise.)
- The Overture (This rank passes on to anyone who defeats/destroys him/her.)
- Lex Luthor (Those who say otherwise will be rebuked by him with a loud "WRONG!!!")
- Michael Jackson
- Mayinte (Toys own toys.)
- Doc Louis
- 3 Eyed Blue Luigi
- Little Mac
- Super Macho Man
- Luigi (But only when he has a gas can and Mario give him permission to use them.)
- Those who have art in art museums.
