Wolverine Syndrome

Wolverine syndrome, also known as Munchinism type I (MCH I), Sephiroth's disease or Riddickism, is a genetic disorder that results in the buildup of badassery due to a deficiency of realism. Without this realism, a buildup of mass marketing and focus group research occurs in the body. Symptoms appear during childhood and early death can occur due to brain damage.

Wolverine syndrome is divided into three subtypes based on severity of symptoms. All three types result from an absence of, or insufficient levels of, reality. MCH I W or Wolverine syndrome is the most severe of the MCH I subtypes. The other two types are MCH I S or Sephiroth's disease] and MCH I D-N or Dante-Nero syndrome.

Wolverine syndrome is often classified as a one dimensional character flaw, and is clinically related to Stereotype Syndrome. Stereotype is X-linked while Wolverine's is not naturally recessive.

It is named for Wolverine.

Prevalence

Wolverine syndrome has an overall frequency of 99,999 per 100,000. The MCH spectrum of disorders as a whole have a frequency of 1 in every 3 new characters.

Features

The condition is marked by low gravely voices, brooding periods of moodiness, and usually blatant invulnerability. Many of those afflicted with Wolverine syndrome are first introduced as villains, and remain somewhat of an anti-hero. Another hallmark of the disorder is a rivalry with a wholesome and sometimes naive protagonist.

Developmental delay is evident by the end of the first appearance, and patients usually stop developing between the second and fourth appearances. This is followed by progressive dialog decline and loss of the ability to portray emotion. Action sequences may be limited due to being overpowered and a shrunken show budget. In time, the weaknesses of the character become reduced and story quality may begin to degenerate, as the writers must surpass the last unbelievable challenge. Exclamations of "IT CANT BE!?!?!?" and making stiff dramatic poses are common.

Affected characters may be unpopular at introduction and appear normal but may have some way not immediately apparent to eliminate any vulnerability they may be subject to. Growth in background may be initially faster than normal, then begins to slow before the end of the first year and often ends around age 3. Many characters develop a large following of slavishly devoted fanboys.

Treatment

There is no known treatment for Wolverine syndrome. Once the symptoms manifest they stay with the character until the franchise is dead.

Known Sufferers of Wolverine Syndrome

• Wolverine
• Sephiroth
• Riddick
• Vegeta
• Master Chief
• Grimmjow Jaggerjaques‎
• Rambo
• Goku
• Naruto
• Super Macho Man's power of "Release The Bogus!"