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Difference between revisions of "Sonic the Hedgehog"
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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|age=15 | |age=15 | ||
|occupation=Fastest thing alive | |occupation=Fastest thing alive | ||
| − | |cast=Jaleel White | + | |cast=Jaleel White, Jason Anthony Griffith |
}}{{char}} | }}{{char}} | ||
[[Image:THATS_NO_GOOD.png|thumb|THAT'S NO GOOD!]] | [[Image:THATS_NO_GOOD.png|thumb|THAT'S NO GOOD!]] | ||
| − | Sonic is the mascot for [[SEGA]] : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. and a good game since the new millenium. Despite these all too true facts, [[SuperYoshi]] has stated on various occasions that | + | Sonic is the mascot for [[SEGA]] : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. and a good game since the new millenium, depending on who you ask. Despite these all too true facts, [[SuperYoshi]] has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] and [[Silver]]. I hate these fags so much. |
==Biography== | ==Biography== | ||
| Line 17: | Line 17: | ||
==Crimes== | ==Crimes== | ||
| − | Is believed to have assassinated [[John Lennon]]. What a fag | + | Is believed to have assassinated [[John Lennon]]. What a fag. |
==Quotes== | ==Quotes== | ||
*EXACTLY! | *EXACTLY! | ||
*LET'S SHIT! | *LET'S SHIT! | ||
| − | |||
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*That's no good. | *That's no good. | ||
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*You're too slow! | *You're too slow! | ||
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*URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!! | *URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!! | ||
| − | * | + | *Too easy! Piece of cay-ache! |
| − | + | *Shit! | |
| + | *He's just a piece o' cheesy hardware! | ||
[[Image:SonicMarioParty.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic before [[Sonic Shuffle]] ]] | [[Image:SonicMarioParty.jpg|thumb|right|Sonic before [[Sonic Shuffle]] ]] | ||
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*Masturbating | *Masturbating | ||
*Tormenting Dr. Robotnik | *Tormenting Dr. Robotnik | ||
| − | * | + | *Namco's Soulcalibur series (inspired him to get a sword for ''Sonic and the Black Knight'' |
| − | |||
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{{vid|rO-Qh_jUMr8}} | {{vid|rO-Qh_jUMr8}} | ||
| Line 66: | Line 55: | ||
*Meecrob | *Meecrob | ||
*[[SNK]] | *[[SNK]] | ||
| − | * | + | *Chip |
*[[Boobs]] | *[[Boobs]] | ||
*[[Pussy]] | *[[Pussy]] | ||
| Line 80: | Line 69: | ||
*[[Chris Crocker]] | *[[Chris Crocker]] | ||
*[[Retard]]s | *[[Retard]]s | ||
| + | *[[Ninja Coach Z]] (used to be a Sonic fanboy when he was younger) | ||
==People Who Hate Him== | ==People Who Hate Him== | ||
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* [[Robotnik]] | * [[Robotnik]] | ||
| − | * | + | * Dr. Eggman |
| − | * | + | * Erazor Djinn |
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
| − | |||
* Grouchy Smurf | * Grouchy Smurf | ||
* Ozu | * Ozu | ||
* Mr. Grumpy (duh!) | * Mr. Grumpy (duh!) | ||
* Mr. Clean | * Mr. Clean | ||
| − | |||
| − | |||
* [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] (In a rival hate way) | * [[Shadow the Hedgehog|Shadow]] (In a rival hate way) | ||
| − | |||
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* [[Mario]] | * [[Mario]] | ||
* Classic Sonic Fans | * Classic Sonic Fans | ||
| − | |||
==Trivia== | ==Trivia== | ||
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*He loves tumble dryers (see video at right). | *He loves tumble dryers (see video at right). | ||
*Has a [[The Electric Cheese|giant ego]]. | *Has a [[The Electric Cheese|giant ego]]. | ||
| − | *He is a pyromaniac. | + | *He is a pyromaniac. |
*Believes that there's fire were there's smoke. | *Believes that there's fire were there's smoke. | ||
*He's trapped in there. | *He's trapped in there. | ||
| Line 118: | Line 99: | ||
*He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video) | *He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video) | ||
*Has the power to go Super with the help of [[Super AIDS]], he is only one of three which can avoid getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him). | *Has the power to go Super with the help of [[Super AIDS]], he is only one of three which can avoid getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him). | ||
| − | *He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a [[No|local black kid]] to him. | + | *He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a [[No|local black kid]] to him. He later got his own voice back though... and then Sega forced him to change it again. Oy. |
*Has a brother called Awesome Possum. | *Has a brother called Awesome Possum. | ||
*He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression. | *He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression. | ||
| − | * | + | *Lost a lot of weight between the Mega Drive and Dreamcast eras. |
*He has a partnership with Tex Avery. | *He has a partnership with Tex Avery. | ||
*Did he put a tube in his mouth? Lmao? | *Did he put a tube in his mouth? Lmao? | ||
| Line 129: | Line 110: | ||
*Is now currently worling in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew.) | *Is now currently worling in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew.) | ||
*Might be related to [[Don Patch]]. | *Might be related to [[Don Patch]]. | ||
| − | [[Category: | + | *May or may not be [[Aladdin]]. |
| + | |||
| + | [[Category:Bisexual Characters]] | ||
[[Category:Pedophiles]] | [[Category:Pedophiles]] | ||
[[Category:Retarded Characters]] | [[Category:Retarded Characters]] | ||
| − | |||
Revision as of 16:45, 9 June 2009
This article is filed under Characters.Sonic is the mascot for SEGA : an exceptionally BAD gaming corporation. He hasn't eaten a single decent sword since 10 A.D. and a good game since the new millenium, depending on who you ask. Despite these all too true facts, SuperYoshi has stated on various occasions that Sonic is his favorite actor to work with. Sonic is also a lot cooler and eats less swords than those pussies Shadow and Silver. I hate these fags so much.
Biography
Sonic the Hedgehog (aka Sonico, Mr. Needlemouse, Cinos, Hedgehog and other names) was born and raised in West Philadelphia until a couple of badniks, who were up to no good, started making trouble in Green Hill. He got in one little fight and Amy got scared and said "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Scrap Brain." He whistled for a cab and when it came near, he gave it the middle finger. If anything, he could have said that this cab was Tails, so he went "THAT'S NO GOOD." He pulled up to Metropolis Zone at approximately 7 or 8 to claim his throne as the prince of the video game industry. Also throughout his entire career, Sonic has been in the porn industy..Yep...Look it up anywhere I ain't lyin...
Crimes
Is believed to have assassinated John Lennon. What a fag.
Quotes
- EXACTLY!
- LET'S SHIT!
- That's no good.
- You're too slow!
- URRNGH! I'm MasturBAAAAAAATIIIIIIING!!!
- Too easy! Piece of cay-ache!
- Shit!
- He's just a piece o' cheesy hardware!
Sonic before Sonic Shuffle
Likes
- Freedom
- Chili Dawgs
- Tails
- Himself
- Relaxing
- Knuckles
- Being a fucking DJ.
- Lots of people. (EXCEPT both Amy Rose and Robotnik.)
- Masturbating
- Tormenting Dr. Robotnik
- Namco's Soulcalibur series (inspired him to get a sword for Sonic and the Black Knight
{{#ev:youtube|rO-Qh_jUMr8|320}}
Hates
People Who Like Him
- Chad Warden
- Oogtar
- Captain Planet
- Gay Luigi
- Bowser Jr,
- DaftPunkYoshi
- Amy Rose
- Chris Crocker
- Retards
- Ninja Coach Z (used to be a Sonic fanboy when he was younger)
People Who Hate Him
Sonic believes he is cool and popular, but there are actually quite a bit of people who have expressed disdain for him. Among those who have said they "hate that hedgehog":
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- Robotnik
- Dr. Eggman
- Erazor Djinn
- Grouchy Smurf
- Ozu
- Mr. Grumpy (duh!)
- Mr. Clean
- Shadow (In a rival hate way)
- Mario
- Classic Sonic Fans
Trivia
{{#ev:youtube|sYqeMcEs4z0|320}}
{{#ev:youtube|HH7gqBReJ3o|320}}
- He loves tumble dryers (see video at right).
- Has a giant ego.
- He is a pyromaniac.
- Believes that there's fire were there's smoke.
- He's trapped in there.
- He had a reputation of helping kids learn things about life in a short segment called Sonic Sez, although after an absurd confession to Tails (see above) he lost it and decided to instead teach people about how sex and drugs are cool. Sonic Sez is now the most viewed show in the world, topping all of the existing charts, and being downloaded by millions every minute.
- He is a pervert. (yet again, see the other video)
- Has the power to go Super with the help of Super AIDS, he is only one of three which can avoid getting killed by it(But using it too much can kill him).
- He had an car accident in 1992 and his vocal chords had to be replaced. Without anything else, the doctors gave the vocal chords of a local black kid to him. He later got his own voice back though... and then Sega forced him to change it again. Oy.
- Has a brother called Awesome Possum.
- He can play guitar. If you're lucky he'll show you his Eddie Van Hedgehog impression.
- Lost a lot of weight between the Mega Drive and Dreamcast eras.
- He has a partnership with Tex Avery.
- Did he put a tube in his mouth? Lmao?
- Spends All day in his house then he went for a 'drink' which turned to 5 and then 10 now he's drunk and he won't be able to play Sonic Unleashed properly
- He once called a male drug abusing rabbit a dyke.
- If he masturbates too much he turns into his Werehog form, as seen in Sonic Unleashed. This form is filled with primal fury and an excess of guilt.
- Is now currently worling in porno movies to help him get over his problems. (If only he knew.)
- Might be related to Don Patch.
- May or may not be Aladdin.
