Ed

This article is filed under Characters.

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Ed, also on red crystal

Ed is one of "The Three Eds". He is known as the brawns of the Eds. He was never a smart fellow, as is evidenced by archival footage played in one of the episodes. He is not related to either Edd, Eddy, or Sarah. She was adopted. That will explain the yelling. According to DNA tests, her real parents are Robotnik and Mama Luigi. Recently, Ed was served a sexual harassment lawsuit for attempting to give out hot dickings to the Kankers while looking for a spoon.

Cultural Heritage: American

Skills

• Ed can play a violin, but his violin playing sounds more like either Cliff Burton's bass (on a good day) or nails on a chalkboard (on a bad day). The episode that had his violin showed him on a bad day because he had to practice or Sarah would bust his head.
• He can generate a charge of static electricity big enough to blow up a house. Zappity zap zap!
• He can be a woodpecker, but he tends to peck dirt rather than wood.
• He can lift a freakin' house, and has been able to do that since he was, like, three. Now that's hardcore.
• He can kill wood while listing to J-Rock.

Likes

• Toast
• Gravy
• Chickens
• More Chickens
• Even More Chicken
• The Chicken from Cow and Chicken
• Chicks Galore
• Eddy (It is rumored by some that Ed has a sexual wanting for him. This has been proven true/false by yaoi addicted fangirls and SushieBoy)
• Double D (The same rumor as above applies.)

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Ed commenting on Eddy's carpet.

Trivia

• Likes Pudding skin.
• Enjoys having people 'whack' him.
• Enjoys cookie dough.
• Screams almost as much as Rolf.
• Once glued a block of wood to Johnny's foot.
• He is NOT smart now.
• LOVES Chickens.
• Has an addiction to gravy and buttered toast.
• Can swallow a video camera with relative ease.
• Makes crushing playgrounds seem such a breeze.
• He may move slow...
• And jump stupidly high...
• But this Ed's ONE HELL OF A GUY! UH!
• Was a moose once.
• Once glued his dick to a table.
• Oh, and his middle name is Horace.
• Is also a subscriber to Chicks Galore. (And yes, it's indeed a porno magazine.)

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Half-eaten pretzel-bagel beats rock?

Quotes

• Nice carpet, Eddy.
• I love canoes.
• I AM CAN OPENER MAN!
• Whack me! Whack me! Whack me! Whack me!
• My dad has a shovel.
• Am I smart now?
• COOKIE DOUGH!!
• Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy I am such a lucky elf.
• You guys are gonna make my turtle cry.
• Touch me again, and I will SQUASH you!
• BIG TROUBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!
• I'm a woodpecker, 'cept with dirt.
• Why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter?
• Hello light.
• MAN THE HELMS! DIVE DIVE!
• (using puppet) Oh dear, I fell!
• EXTREME CLOSEUP!
• Slide on the soap... slide on the soap... slide on the soap... slide on the soap...
• GUTTER BALL!
• I am the Claw, and the Claw wishes to fly too!