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Bowser Jr.
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.
Bowser Jr. was Bowser's gay annoying child who was a Democrat, and had dreams of having sex with Mario and Luigi. His dad didn't disapprove of this.
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Legal Issues
- He was charged with the attemted murder of Morton in 2002.
- He carjacked Dr. Emmett Brown in 2003, and went back to the '80s to try and defeat Mario (he was also escaping from the police, as he was charged with an attemped murder). He ended-up crashing into a tree in 1985, destroying the DeLorean.
- Was arrested for anally-raping Miles Edgeworth in a California rest-area restroom in 1986. Phoenix Wright refused to defend him, as Edgeworth is his butt-buddy, and not Jr's.
- Was also arrested for raping Tails in another California rest-area restroom later in 1986 (while on parole). Tails enjoyed it, but Sonic said "That's no good", and sued.
- Stole The King's AMC Pacer from a Pennsylvania rest-area in 1986 and crashed into Wario's Trans-am, which pissed both the King and Wario off. The Governor banned him from Pennsylvania.
- Stole a condom vending machine from a truck stop restroom in Texas in 1987.
- Raped Oogtar in a Georgia rest area in 1987
- Anally-raped Ganon in a Kansas rest-area restroom in 1988. In an interview with Ganon, he said it "burned".
- Was accused of causing the Hindenberg disaster in 1988. The judge threw-out the case, and fined the plaintiff for wasting time.
Likes
- Sexually harrasing people.
- Mama Luigi
- Penises
- Chad Warden
- Rod Blagojevich (is just as retarded)
- Raping his older brothers.
- The Soviet Union
- Barak Obama
Liked By
- Rod Blagojevich (Jr. is the only one who likes him)
- Oogtard
Dislikes
Disliked By
- Bowser
- You
- Me
- Bowser's REAL kids, Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy, Iggy, Wendy, Morton and Larry.
- The Mario bros.
- Ganon
- Big Cheese
- Phoenix Wright
- The whole states of Missouri, Kansas, California, Texas, Georgia, and Pennsylvania (was even banned from PA)
- The country of Japan
- Anybody with an I.Q. greater than 3
- Rick Astley
Death
Bowser Jr. committed suicide in Los Angeles in the year 1988 by jumping from a 12-story building. He died upon impact. He had accumulated 4 counts of sexual assult, 2 for grand theft auto and 2 for reckless driving while he was in the '80s. He has yet to have risen from The Pit.