Spy

This article is filed under Characters.

Overview

The Spy is one of the nine classes featured in the Valve game, Team Fortress 2. Some of his weapons include a knife, revolver, sapper (SPYS SAPPIN MAH SENTRY), and cigarettes used to disguise as the opposite team's classes... before the Pyro flames his ass.

Arsenal

Basic

• Revolver: A slow-firing, but rather powerful and accurate version of the usual pistol. Doubles for a dildo.
• Sapper: This device can attach to and slowly destroy an Engineer's buildings and can also be used as a Defibrillator if necessary.
• Knife: A butterfly knife bought at the dollar store, the preferred weapon of Spies.
• Disguise Kit: Allows the Spy to transform into his enemies, and successfully pull off identity theft.
• Cloaking Device: A convenient device in the form of a watch that temporarily cloaks you, great for sneaking past opponents and for the "Glance and Go" pervert. Unfortunately does not tell time.

Update

• The Ambassador: A diplomat from France in the form of a revolver sent to aid the Spy in blowing people's heads off. Crits on accurate headshot, But fires slower and does less damage. Replaces the usual Revolver.
• The "Cloak and Dagger": A Cloaking Device replacement that allows you to remain invisible for as long as you want, so long as you stay still. Perfect for waiting for an opportunity and the "Locker Room" pervert. Does not tell time.
• The "Dead Ringer": When you're shot, you leave behind a fake corpse while going invisible. Replaces the Cloaking Device, great brass pocketwatch finish! Used to tell time, but it broke.

Community

• L'Etranger: A stylish revolver that regenerates the cloaking meter on every hit. Damn. He's gone faster than--*backstab*. Replaces the Revolver.
• Your Eternal Reward: Despite sacrificing the ability to disguise, this stylish knife kills silently and disguises the Spy as his victim. The hard part is trying to avoid being seen after uncloaking. Replaces the Knife.
• Conniver's Kunai: Fandom rejoice as the fabled ninja weapon comes to the game! Though it heals the Spy through backstabs, he has less health to begin with. Use with caution. Replaces the Knife.
• Enforcer: Deals extra damage for putting down anyone who catches you, especially those highly alert Pyros...so long as you can extinguish yourself easily afterwards. Replaces the Revolver.
• Big Earner: Gives cloak charge on a backstab, for efficient returning to the shadows. Replaces the Knife.

Promotion

• Big Kill: Functions the same as the Revolver, but is just a different skin. Nothing special.
• Enthusiast's Timepiece: A Pac-man themed watch that you must murder the owner to obtain. It serves the same purpose of sneaking and "Glance And Go" but is built for the hardcore gamer in all of us. Does tell time, but not when in use by the Spy.
• Diamondback: Not to be mistaken for a breed of snake, this Revolver gains crits for every building the Spy saps...oh hang on, Spah sappin' mah--! *shot with critical hit*

Event

• Saxxy: Only a select few received this coveted statuette of good old Saxton said to have been carved by King Midas/Sauron specially for the Saxxy Awards replay contest. Now MORE people are turning their enemies into gold and holding bragging rights! Functions just like the Knife, but a blunt golden hat-shaped end? Kills instantly? From behind? Mind = Blown.

Special Note: When the Spy wields L'Etranger and the Eternal Reward plus a hat called the "Familiar Fez" together, he uncloaks quieter. Perfect for the very unsuspecting kills.

Quotes

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Spy "Gentlemen".

Spy "That would be your mother."

Spy "I am ze Spy."

Spy "And worst of all, he could be any one of us."

Spy "Ah, mon petit chou-fleur."

Spy "Well, off to visit your mother!"

Spy "I never really was on your side..."

Spy "Cheers."

Spy "Well, off to rape your mother!"

Spy "What's the matter? Fat got your tongue?" *Laughs*

Spy "You are such a virgin."

Spy "This is Scout, rainbows make me cry!"

Spy "He could be in this very room! He could be you, he could be me, he could even be..." *Shot*

Spy "I have been shown, who is the boss!"

Spy "Well, this was a disappointment..."

The Spy always dies, you know.

Trivia

• Him and the blue Engineer are the best of lovers.
• Loves to sneak up behind unsuspecting snipers.
• Likes SAPPIN' SENTRIES.
• Also likes corn.
• Was once an African.
• The RED Spy is the BLU Scout's father, as well as the genetic father of various others.
• Frequently produces pornography with your mother. What a fucking whore.
• Also stars in pornography with the Scout's mother. What a fucking whore.
• He never really was on your side.
• He has sex with the Administrator numerous times.
• Is especially cruel to everyone.
• Knows Scout's embarrassing secret: he cries upon seeing rainbows.
• Also knows a secret about Slippy Toad that could cost him his job if it got out.
• Not related to the two colour spies (White Spy and Black Spy) from Spy Vs. Spy, it was his favourite comic and game though.
• One of his ancestors was Napoleon.
• The BLU Spy's head currently resides inside of the Medic's refrigerator, where he chain smokes all day, and begs for the Medic to kill him.
• He fluently speaks Spanish and Italian.
• Interestingly, he knows how to build a dispenser.
• And now he's here to fuck us! OH SHI-