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Masturbation
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Masturbation is the act of playing with one's sexual organs. For men, it only requires one's hand and one's penis. For women, a dildo is needed to masturbate, or one can use their fingers. Masturbation strictly excludes any partners, otherwise it becomes sex.
Places/Situations In Which One Would Masturbate
- At home.
- In one's home bathroom.
- In one's own bedroom.
- While on one's computer, watching porn.
- Whenever playing Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball.
- At the drive-in.
- In the old man's Ford.
- Behind the bushes.
- In one's basement.
- Definitely not in public, I'll tell you what. Infact, if one ever does that, even in the dark, they will be just like Pee-Wee Herman.
People Who Love To Masturbate
- Scratch
- Grounder (As seen in the video on this page.)
- Robotnik (Especially on the "DO NOT MASTURBATE" video.)
- Sonic
- Tails
- Birdo
- Chowder
- Feghoot (Three times per day, in fact.)
- Amy Rose
- Most of those who watch any and all porn.
- Zoophiliacs, since real sex with animals is illegal.
- Otakus by both Japanese and American definition.
- Bald Bull (Especially when he's in the tub.)
People Who Get Masturbated On
- Dr. Robotnik (By Sonic the Hedgehog and Scratch.)
- Mung Daal (By Chowder.)
- Tails (By Sonic the Hedgehog.)
- Doc Louis (By King Hippo & Aran Ryan.) {For King Hippo, the Doc ended up being a God-like entity and blew the king's head off. As for Aran Ryan, well Aran just ended up becoming more powerful than before.}