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Fred Phelps
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.God hates America, vile land of the sodomite damned. It is the most ungrateful and the most arrogant, anti-God nation that ever existed. Amen.
Things Done For Humanity
Let it be known that Fred Phelps has done a great deal for man-kind. He has stopped Ganon repeatedly in the past and has slain many a Vice President. He is also in Terminator: Salvation.
Trivia
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- Every person who dies splits Hell wide open.
- Jon Stewart's comedian sidekick is WHEEL GATOR.
- He wants free popcorn.
- He thinks every problem in America is due to buttsex.
- Uses homosexuality as a scapegoat to pretty much everything
- Is sexist because he told his wife to "Get back in the kitchen".
- His son is NOT Michael Phelps, the nine-time gold medal winner in the Beijing 2008 Olympics.
- He is banned from entering the United Kingdom.
- One time, he actually supported the works of Saddam Hussein.
- Then again, when Saddam was executed, he stated that Saddam was now in Hell.
- He is certainly going to Hell.
- He thinks every true Christian should earn a law degree.
- He also thinks Lady Gaga has a "whore’s forehead". For once, that's something said by him that's actually correct!
- He's an Eagle Scout as a kid.
- His mother died when he was six. Mercy kill.
- He was a drug addict back in the '70s. And he still is now...
- The Ku Klux Klan thinks he's insane. When you're a racist nutjob and the freaking KKK hate you, you know that you're doing something wrong.
- He sued Ronald Reagan for appointing a U.S. ambassador to the Vatican, saying this violated separation of church and state.
- He ran for Governor of Kansas three different times, coming in dead last every single time. Serves him right!
- He's a movie star! Why aren't the Hollywood sluts coming to him?!
- Ironically enough, he is now in Hell himself. (PRAISE BE TO YEVON)
Quotes
- YOU'RE GONNA EAT YOUR BABIES.
- THERE WAS OLD BUSH, CRITICIZING CHINA BECAUSE THEY DON'T LET THEIR PEOPLE HAVE FREEDOM OF RELIGION AND SPEECH, AND BRAGGING THAT AMERICA DOES. YEAH.
- GOD HATES GENITALS!
- YOU TWEAKED HIS NOSE YOU JACKASS!
- P-please Jon... Not so hard!
