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Engineer

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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The Engineer warning you about his heavy caliber sentry.
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The Engineer solving his practical problems.

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The red Engineer is being barraged by too many blue Spies.

The Engineer, or Engineer for short, is one of the people in Team Fortress 2 that is straight. He went to the University of Texas with Dave Grohl to learn how to solve practical problems. He can build gun, more gun, teleporters, dispensers, and destroy them. He also assisted in building Dave Grohl's time machine. He may be able to stop Mama Luigi's reign of terror, but is too busy solving practical problems.

Cultural Heritage: America, Texas

Arsenal

  • Shotgun: His pa's ol' huntin' weapon.
  • Pistol: His pa's ol' huntin...sidearm...
  • Wrench: His pa's ol' huntin' wrench This wrench is gifted with the ability to repair and upgrade machinery by simply whacking at them. Amazing! The same does not apply to humans, of course.
  • PDA: Allows him to prepare or destroy his buildings. No, his pa never used it for hunting. The PDA allows the Engineer to set up...
    • Sentry: Can automatically pick off targets. Beware, for the presence of one will cause rageswitching to Spy in an effort to take out said sentry.
    • Dispenser: Automatically dispenses health, ammunition, metal, and Coca-Cola for those certain occasions.
    • Teleporter: Watch your teammates push and shove each other out of the way to save themselves 15 seconds of walking!

Update

  • Frontier Justice: Did your sentry just get overwhelmed and destroyed? Now instead of cowering back to your base like a little bitch you can fight back with this special Shotgun! After the sentry blows this gun awards critical shots at the expense of a reduced ammo load.
  • The Wrangler: A modified Atari controller that allows you to manually aim and fire your sentry, as well as give it a shield that absorbs most of the damage! Replaces the Pistol.
  • The Gunslinger: This special bionic arm gives you a slight health boost as well as allowing you to deploy Combat Mini-Sentries instead of regular sentries, which build faster and take less metal but cannot be repaired or upgraded. Oh yeah, you can also punch things! Replaces your Wrench as well as your Sentry, as well as one of your hands, apparently.
  • Southern Hospitality: A newer-model Wrench which makes enemies bleed out, but you're more vulnerable to fire damage.

Quotes

  • Hey look buddy, I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.
  • I solve practical problems.
  • How am I gonna stop a big mean mother-hupper from tearing me a structurally superfluous new beehive? The answer...is a gun.
  • If that don't work, use more gun!
  • And you best hope... not pointed at you.
  • SPY SAPPIN' MAH SENTRY
  • C'MERE, SISSY!
  • Gordon Freemant, what are you working on?
  • Whait oh no where id isotop?
  • ERECTIN' A DISPENSER

Trivia