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Demoman
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.Error creating thumbnail: File missing
The Demoman is frightened by the sight of a naked Heavy.
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The Demoman (full name Demolitions Man) is a black, Scottish cyclops with an explosion fetish.
He's also a self-proclaimed meme for the Chewiki.
Cultural Heritage: Black Scottish Cyclops
How The Demoman Came To Be
The guy that made the original Team Fortress was high on dope one day, so he hired a Scottish Will Smith to fire a grenade launcher and blow people up. Thus, the Demoman was born.
Arsenal
- Grenade Launcher: Fires 4 grenades before needing a reload, yet it can hold six at once. That's pretty fucking gay.
- Stickybomb Launcher: Fires up to 8 grenades which stick to surfaces, which then can be detonated remotely just by him thinking about it.
- Bottle: Once held hard liquor. Now only holds the Demoman's tears, and possibly urine. Oh, did I mention he might break it over your skull?
Update
- Chargin' Targe: This shield allows you to charge toward your enemies while giving you a temporary critical boost and allowing you to bash or slice off the head of your foe. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Scottish Resistance: Allows you to tactically detonate sticky grenades, but most Demos won't care since they're too busy trying to stickyspam with the regular sticky-launcher or trying to chop them down with a Targe/Sword combo. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
- Eyelander: Totally not a reference to Highlander, you become faster and stronger with each kill. No, there can never be only one, not as long as every Demoman out there is wielding this unbalanced piece of shit. Replaces the Bottle.
Community
- Pain Train: A makeshift club made from a discarded Axtinguisher handle and an iron railroad spike, which inexplicably increases the wielder's capture rate. The Soldier can also wield this weapon. Replaces the Bottle.
Quotes
- OH CRAP
- I'm a black Scottish CYCLOPS! THEY GOT MORE *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* THAN THEY GOT THE LIKES OF ME!
- OH, THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO GLUE YOU BACK TOGETHER... IN HELL!
- What makes me a good Demoman? IF I WAS A BAD DEMOMAN, I WOULDN'T BE HERE DISCUSSING IT WITH YA, NOW WOULD I!?
- So.. Tar you fine dandies, so proud. SO COHKSURE... PRANCIN' ABOOT WITH YER HEADS FULL OF EYEBALLS! COME AND GET ME, I SAY! I'LL BE WAIDIN' ON YEH WITH A LOAD'O ME OLD BRIMSTONE!
- I'M A GRIMM BLOODY FABLE! WITH AN UNHAPPY BLOODY END!
- KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
- NEXT TIME YE'LL BLOODY ASK BEFORE STANDING ON MY POINT`
- CHEEEEEEEERSS MATE
- AH DONT THINK THEY SAW THAT ONE COMIN'
- HOHOHOHOHHAHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHAHAHAAAA
- OH THAT'S SORE
- KA-BLOOOOOOEEYYYYYYY
- MEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
- THAT WIS MAH POINT YE WERE STANDIN' ON
- YA APPEAR TO HAVE TRODDEN ON A MINE!
- THAT HEAVY'S A BLOODY JACKASS!!!
- YOU COME WIDE AT ME AGAIN BOY I'LL STICK THAT WRENCH RIGHT UP YER ARSE!
- IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE Zzzzzzzzzzzz....Huh? Wha?
- (While drunk) Just bought two tickets to the gun show, and I'm not givin' em to ya. I'm goin' with YOUR tickets!
- LITTLE TOO MUCH CABER TOSSIN' PIE DOWN YER OWN THROAT EH CHUBBY?
- GO HOME LASSIE! MEN ARE FIGHTIN' HERE!
- DOMINATED! And I've been shaggin' your wife! HAHA! (Said to Medic)
- DOMINATED YOU TEUTONIC NURSEMAI-*belch* ahh...hah
- THAT'S A RIGHT PRETTY BRA WASHER YOU BUILT YOU BIG UGLY GIRL!
Trivia
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The Demoman across the way stares back. Notice how his eyepatch changed sides.
- The RED Demoman's name is Tavish Degroot as revealed here, and he lives with his blind mother in a mansion somewhere in New Mexico, not too far from cp_badlands. He
iswas best friends with the BLU Soldier until recently. - Enjoys bagpipe music, not unlike M. Bison.
- Possibly enjoys KFC.
- Also enjoys Bombs.
- Is good friends with Zack.
- Is an African.
- Has had multiple charges of public nudity in the past, until he wore a sticky note with a smiley-face on his crotch.
- Lacks a functioning liver, depth perception, and a pulse. Everyone else has these, especially the Spy, who enjoys rubbing it in.
- His real name is actually "Demonman".
- Stares at things on this site in horror, joy, or for the hell of it.
- Has advanced knowledge of chemicals and chemistry, though, which he must know in order to properly formulate explosives.
- He also has the same voice actor as The Heavy Weapons Guy.
- Is not to be confused with the Rob Zombie song "Devil Man."
- Worked with the Pyro on the pyrotechnics for KISS in the '70s and early '80s.
- His image unfortunately created some dark times in this Chewiki (i.e., image spamming staring contest).
