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Customer Service

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: Customer Service
Appears In: Kirby
Sex: Male
Age: 34
Occupation(s): Spokesperson of N.M.E.
Played By: Dan Green

Customer Service is that purple guy with green hair and bronze sunshades who tries to sell MONSTAHS to King Dedede, because that's what they do best at N.M.E. He is known for his overly-detailed art style, and his rude behavior: Some pranks he has pulled on Dedede include cutting communications while Dedede is talking mid sentence, sending him the wrong monster or something that isn't a monster at all, not responding to Dedede when he talks, overcharging for monsters, or even just denying him service in general.

Biography

Quotes

  • "How can I help you, King Dedede?"
  • "That's what we do best at N.M.E."
  • "Fuck You, King Dedede!"
  • "I gotta say, D-man, you're lookin' fly today!"

Legal issues

In 1995, Customer Service was accused of threatening King Dedede with a chainsaw, claiming he wasn't afraid to slice him clean in half. Dedede sued for one million billion trillion quadrillion quintillion hexillion septillion octillion nonillion decillion dollars. The preceding judge decided against King Dedede due to Dedede's lawyer making a scene in court over money, and Customer Service counter-sued for the same amount. CS won, and still awaits his money.

Likes

  • Torturing poor Dedede
  • Plant encyclopedias
  • Paperweights
  • Sunshades with the Roman numeral II embedded in the lenses
  • Coca-Cola

Dislikes

Is Liked By

  • No one in particular
This is not Customer Service, though Customer Service was based off of him.

Is Disliked By

Trivia

  • Is actually a short motherfucker.
  • His butt chin has eaten an eraser, some coins and a shaver.
  • His suit was bought from a thrift store.
  • The green hair is from acid stains when he was 2 that somehow didn't burn off his hair.
  • Went through plastic surgery.
  • His brother is Max Headroom, but they both hate each other.