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M. Bison

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 16:38, 8 December 2008 by Crazy Luigi (talk | contribs) (I just found out that where I live, midnight in Great Britain is 5 p.m. in where I live.)
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YES!

M.Bison is known for eating handheld televisions and running down corridors over and over again. Ever in love with himself, he experiences an orgasm whenever a closeup of himself is shown followed by bagpipe music. YES!

YES!

He also once claimed that he dosen't have a buttocks.

Source

Small Backstory

Little is known about Bison's youth and his early years, even as to when he was born (most game manuals list his birth year as unknown), but he appears to be in his late 30's to mid 40's, although he could be much older, or even younger. His first appearance, chronologically speaking, was in Street Fighter Alpha, as the head of an elusive criminal and military organization known as Shadoloo. Along with his aspirations for world conquest, Bison had been working on perfecting a lethal and deadly energy that would exponentially increase his fighting ability, an inherently evil energy he refers to as "Psycho Power". During the events of Street Fighter Alpha, Shadoloo came to the attention of Interpol, which sent Chun-Li (an operative with a personal vendetta against the crime lord, who had killed her father) to thwart Bison's plans. Chun-Li and Bison eventually confronted each other and battled. Bison defeated Chun-Li and then escaped on his helicopter while mocking her and promising to kill her in the same manner he killed her father if she confronts him again. During the events of Alpha or Alpha 2, Bison also came into conflict with Rose, a mysterious woman who wielded Soul Power, the opposite of Bison's Psycho Power. This fact and the fact that her quest was to stop any and all of Bison's evil plans indicate the intricate connection between the two, and would later be revealed in Street Fighter Alpha 3.

Mmmhmm...

Name Change

When Street Fighter II was localized in America, Capcom was afraid of a lawsuit from Mike Tyson over a character with his likeness and a similar sounding name (Mike Bison). Additionally, when the designers presented the game to Capcom USA's marketing department, they believed that the name Vega was a weakling's name. They decided to rotate the names of three of the four boss characters in the following manner:

  • The African-American boxer known as M. Bison in Japan was changed to Balrog elsewhere.
  • The Spanish assassin/bullfighter known as Balrog in Japan was changed to Vega elsewhere.
  • The evil dictator and head of Shadoloo known as Vega in Japan was changed to M. Bison elsewhere.

THAT MEANS VEGA IS DELICIOUS. :0

Bison's Arse

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The only existing photo of Bison's Arse

Back in the day, whenever Bison felt a bit malicious, he'd invoke a dreaded and forbidden power known only as "Bison's Arse". This led to the emergence of Captain Guile, who, being a very brave man, proclaimed, "Bison's Ass is mine!" and launched a never-ending campaign against the posterior of pain, eventually ending when Guile rammed a Sonic Boom up Bison's Arse, ending the terror forever....or so it seemed.

File:Bison HUH!.bmp
Bison at the time of Bisons's arse's resurgance
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Captain Falcon's impersination of Bison's arse

In June 2007, Bison's Arse resurfaced, this time as a completely seperate entity. His first heinous act being killing Hinata Hyuga with Orochi AIDS, ending Guile's latest mission in failure. It is unknown what Bison's Arse may be planning next. Bison`s Arse is currenting living in the labyrinth dungeoun of Hollow Bastion

M.Bison had this to say about Bison's Arse.

"I'm afraid I don't have one!"

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"He's afraid he don't have one!" A common artist's impression of the dreaded Bison's Arse
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Demoman suffering a fate worse than death - being forced to stare into Bison's Arse for 12 millenia

Trivia

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Fat Mario, after being posessed by Bison.
  • Dan is superior.
  • Dan is Delicious.
  • He's friends with G-Man.
  • Hinata Hyuga is his daughter, although after hearing the truth, Hinata proceeded to charge at him while screaming a scream eerily similar to Goku's. They then proceeded to explode unexpectedly. Rumours are that he actually mistook "Hyuga" for "Wakaba" though the source of the rumors, Starscream, was drunk on energon at the time so that can't be taken seriously.
  • Has a scary grin (in which most people hate).
  • Bison's Arse Has the abaility to launch Orochi AIDS in the form of energy bursts. He first uses this to kill Hinata.
  • Was confirmed to be a subscriber to "Sexy Dino Daily" & loves it when Yoshi's involved.
  • Spins cardboard boxes in his hands.
  • He likes to watch wrestling matches on his odd-looking iPod.
  • He dethroned Link as the Best Wii Player of Koradai.
  • His son in law is thel33tmaster4.
  • He wants Sagat (who's Mike Byson for those of you Japanese purists) to not be hasty about getting rid of those special videos that he has.
  • He really wants Ash Ketchup to be pummeled to dust (even though he did die once).
  • He once had the argument of the century with Dr. Robotnik. Later on in that argument, Captain Falcon and Fat Mario would join their respective sides in this argument.
  • He once was interviewed by Bill O'Reilly. He referenced himself as a DELICIOUS thing and he answered almost every question by saying YES twice.

Quotes

  • THIS IS DELICIOUS!
  • DON'T BE HASTY.
  • Yes!
  • YES!!
  • NO!
  • NO!!
  • (donk) Yes?!
  • Which should be any moment now!
  • Welcome my trio of terror.
  • You worthless pile of excrement!
  • YOU'RE MINE!
  • YOUR ASS IS MINE!
  • I dont give a shit.
  • uhuhuhu...afraid I dont have one.
  • ENERGY BURST!!
  • For I beheld Satan..and he fell from heaven!...LIKE LIGHTNING!!!!
  • What's wrong, Guile? Still thinking about your friend I killed? Try harder!
  • Well now, it would appear I've touched a sensitive spot!
  • Yes,Yes,I killed MY father too, and you don't hear ME whining about it!
  • What is it with you women anyway?
  • Well, yes.
  • BAAALROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOG
  • OF COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


{{#ev:youtube|YRw8Ma8sgSw|320}}

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M. Bison after finding out that the link doesn't work.