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Ronald McDonald

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 19:28, 8 November 2016 by SesameMalcolm99 (talk | contribs)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Ronald1.JPEG

Name: Ronald McDonald
Sex: Male
Occupation(s): McDonald's Spokesman

Ran Ran Ruu!

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Ronald McDonald is an advertising character turned devil who now kidnaps children in order to increase his army.

Story

In 1955, McDonald's was created. McDonald's needed a mascot in order to speed up the process of selling burgers, so they created Ronald McDonald. Things were fine until the mid 2000s, when criticisms of McDonald's by fat shits with no self-control started appearing in large numbers, which caused him to turn evil and kill the fat shits. Since then, he has found a new home in the center of the Earth devouring the souls of the obese and selling their bodies to McDonald's franchises all around the world.

Story 2

After 1988, McDonald's turned to shit, and Ronald turned shit along with the restaurant.

Quotes

  • "RAN RAN RUU!"
  • "Hambagaa!" (Hamburger!)
  • "Moshi moshi?" (Hello?)
  • "Go active!"
  • "I'm lovin' it!"
  • "Did somebody say McDonalds?"
  • "No, it's a cheeseburger!"
  • "Sleep early, you'll be strong tomorrow!"
  • "Don't touch Grimace!"
  • "Baaaaaaaaa ba baba baba ba, baaaaaaaaa ba baba baba ba, baaaaaaaaa ba baba baba ba, The Wacky Adventures of Ronald McDonald!"
  • "Hey, kids, did you hear the news? It's time to put on your adventure shoes!"
  • "Hey, you're gonna give yourself nightmares watching that stuff!"
  • "ODAAAAAAAAA!"
  • "The letter "K"! Does anyone know a word with the letter "K"?"
  • "I like to do anything girls and boys like to do!"

Facts

  • Ronald McDonald is the final boss of Super Smash Bros. Brawl on impossible mode.
  • He is friends with both Weegee and Giygas, since all three of them are masters of mind rape.
  • When Ronald McDonald returns from his trip in hell, he will pass out infected hamburgers.
  • He is not fat beacuse he doesn't eat at Burger King.
  • Is massively popular for his "U.N. Owen Was Her?!" remix...(First video to the right)
  • ...And his "Pokey Means Buisness!" remix...(Second video to the right)
  • ...And his "Native Faith" remix...(Third video to the right)
  • Claims that his feet are 4 hamburgers long.
  • He is called Donald McDonald in Japan.
  • You can usually find him rallying children when he isn't at McDonald's.
  • Apparently, he's also a tall motherfucker.
  • RAN RAN RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • In the '70s and '80s, he and his friends were actually loved by children. This was before McDonald's turned to shit in 1988, and again in the 2000s.
  • He really hates prank callers. In fact, one time he was prank called, and it pissed him off so bad that he created an atomic explosion that destroyed half of the world.
  • He is a member of the Barney Bunch often refered to as Ronald "Penis Clown" Mcdonald or just "Penis Clown"
  • His brother is Dick the Clown

Likes

  • McDonalds (Are you serious?)
  • Touhou Project
  • Hatsune Miku
  • Coca-Cola (Has it at his restaurants.)
  • Grimace
  • M.U.G.E.N.
  • Birdie the Early Bird
  • Mayor McCheese
  • Big Mac (Both the sandwich and the character.)
  • Children
  • Dallas (Likes showing up there for some strange reason.)
Officer Big Mac, one of Ronald McDonald's psychotic friends.

Dislikes

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