Demoman

This article is filed under Characters.

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The Demoman is frightened by the sight of a naked Heavy.

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The Demoman (full name Demolitions Man) is a black, Scottish cyclops with an explosion fetish.

He's also a self-proclaimed meme for the Chewiki.

Cultural Heritage: Ullapool, Ross and Cromarty, Scotland, United Kingdom

How The Demoman Came To Be

The guy that made the original Team Fortress was high on dope one day, so he hired a Scottish Will Smith to fire a grenade launcher and blow people up. Thus, the Demoman was born.

Arsenal

• Grenade Launcher: Fires 4 grenades before needing a reload, yet it can hold six at once. That's pretty fucking gay.
• Stickybomb Launcher: Fires up to 8 grenades which stick to surfaces, which then can be detonated remotely just by him thinking about it.
• Bottle: Once held scrumpy. Now only holds the Demoman's tears, and possibly urine. Oh, did I mention he might break it over your skull?

Update

• Chargin' Targe: This shield allows you to charge toward your enemies while giving you a temporary critical boost and allowing you to bash or slice off the head of your foe. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
• Scottish Resistance: Allows you to tactically detonate sticky grenades, but most Demos won't care since they're too busy trying to stickyspam with the regular sticky-launcher or trying to chop them down with a Targe/Sword combo. Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
• Eyelander: Totally not a reference to Highlander, you become faster and stronger with each kill. No, there can never be only one, not as long as every Demoman out there is wielding this unbalanced piece of shit. Replaces the Bottle.
• Sticky Jumper: If the Soldier gets a no-damage Rocket Launcher for jump practice, why shouldn't the Demoman get something similar? As its name suggests, it's primarily for practicing Sticky Jumps and deals no damage at all. Incoming jump maps without health kits! Replaces the Stickybomb Launcher.
• Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker: A haunted axe similar to the Eyelander crafted from haunted metal taken from the game's only boss character to date: The Horseless Headless Horsemann. Replaces the Bottle.

Community

• Pain Train: A makeshift club made from a discarded Axtinguisher handle and an iron railroad spike, which inexplicably increases the wielder's capture rate. The Soldier can also wield this weapon. Replaces the Bottle.
• Scotsman's Skullcutter: An axe that slows you down but deals more damage. What is this game becoming, fucking World of Warcraft? Replaces the Bottle.
• Loch-n-load: The skilled Demoman's choice. This baby fires fast grenades that cause huge damage on enemies, but break harmlessly on anything else. To add to the skill, only two grenades can be fired before reloading. Replaces the Grenade Launcher.
• Ullapool Caber: A Mann Co stick grenade. Any other man would throw it but the Demoman's constant intoxication makes him just hit people with it. Every time the Demoman hits, the Caber's head explodes injuring himself or both him and an enemy if present. Replaces the Bottle.
• Claidheamh-Mor: Similar to the Eyelander but doesn't keep a head count. Be prepared to take frequent trips to the Resupply Cabinet. Replaces the Bottle.
• Half-Zatoichi: Don't pull this katana out when you don't need it, because you can't swap to another weapon until you make a kill with this one. The Soldier can also use this...wait...are they just gonna battle sword to sword rather than capping the intelligence? Anywho, replaces the Shovel.

Special Note: When the Demoman wields the Loch-n-Load and the Ullapool Caber together, he's more resistant to fire. Cue angry Pyros.

Promotion

• Frying Pan: Given to anyone who bought Left 4 Dead 2 before October 7th and anyone who already owns Left 4 Dead 2, this item is just a...frying pan, originally used for the purpose of beating zombies to death and making breakfast. Now makes breakfast and provides one of the most humiliating deaths possible! The Soldier can also use this weapon. Replaces the Bottle. Amusingly, the Demoman attempts to drink from the frying pan when taunting

Quotes

• OH CRAP
• I'm a black Scottish CYCLOPS! THEY GOT MORE *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* THAN THEY GOT THE LIKES OF ME!
• OH, THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO GLUE YOU BACK TOGETHER... IN HELL!
• What makes me a good Demoman? IF I WAS A BAD DEMOMAN, I WOULDN'T BE HERE DISCUSSING IT WITH YA, NOW WOULD I!?
• So.. Tar you fine dandies, so proud. SO COHKSURE... PRANCIN' ABOOT WITH YER HEADS FULL OF EYEBALLS! COME AND GET ME, I SAY! I'LL BE WAIDIN' ON YEH WITH A LOAD'O ME OLD BRIMSTONE!
• I'M A GRIMM BLOODY FABLE! WITH AN UNHAPPY BLOODY END!
• KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
• NEXT TIME YE'LL BLOODY ASK BEFORE STANDING ON MY POINT`
• CHEEEEEEEERSS MATE
• AH DONT THINK THEY SAW THAT ONE COMIN'
• HOHOHOHOHHAHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHAHAHAAAA
• OH THAT'S SORE
• KA-BLOOOOOOEEYYYYYYY
• MEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
• THAT WIS MAH POINT YE WERE STANDIN' ON
• YA APPEAR TO HAVE TRODDEN ON A MINE!
• THAT HEAVY'S A BLOODY JACKASS!!!
• I'm drunk. YOU DON'T HAVE AN EXCUSE!
• YOU COME WIDE AT ME AGAIN BOY I'LL STICK THAT WRENCH RIGHT UP YER ARSE!
• IT'S ON! IT'S ON LIKE Zzzzzzzzzzzz....Huh? Wha?
• (While drunk) Just bought two tickets to the gun show, and I'm not givin' em to ya. I'm goin' with YOUR tickets!
• LITTLE TOO MUCH CABER TOSSIN' PIE DOWN YER OWN THROAT EH CHUBBY?
• GO HOME LASSIE! MEN ARE FIGHTIN' HERE!
• DOMINATED! And I've been shaggin' your wife! HAHA! (Said to Medic)
• DOMINATED YOU TEUTONIC NURSEMAI-*belch* ahh...hah
• THAT'S A RIGHT PRETTY BRA WASHER YOU BUILT YOU BIG UGLY GIRL!
• (After losing) *slurring* Thankfully, I already don't remember this...

Trivia

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The Demoman across the way stares back. Notice how his eyepatch changed sides.

• The RED Demoman's name is Tavish Degroot as revealed here, and he lives with his blind mother in a mansion somewhere in New Mexico, not too far from cp_badlands. He was best friends with the BLU Soldier until recently.
• Enjoys bagpipe music, not unlike M. Bison.
• Possibly enjoys KFC, as well as bombs.
• Is good friends with Zack.
• Is an African.
• Has had multiple charges of public nudity in the past, until he wore a sticky note with a smiley-face on his crotch.
• Lacks a functioning liver, depth perception, and a pulse. Everyone else has these, especially the Spy, who enjoys rubbing it in.
• Has advanced knowledge of chemicals and chemistry, though, which he must know in order to properly formulate explosives.
• His real name is actually "Demonman".
• Stares at things on this site in horror, joy, or for the hell of it.
• He also has the same voice actor as the Heavy Weapons Guy (Gary Schwartz).
• Is not to be confused with the Rob Zombie song "Devil Man."
• Drinks scrumpy that is 160 years old.
• Worked with the Pyro on the pyrotechnics for KISS in the '70s and early '80s.
• According to the Soldier, Scotland is not a real country, and that he is an Englishman in a dress.

See Also

• Team Fortress 2
• Heavy Weapons Guy
• Soldier