Patrick Star

This article is filed under Characters.

Patrick laughing at his latest victim who had fallen victim to STERILE.

A fat-ass, pink and retarded starfish who lives next door to Squidward.

Significance

He has the ability to become STERILE and terrorize entire cities, towns, even continents with his pathetic plague of STERILE. Eustace Bagg can't stand STERILE, nor can he be in the same room with STERILE. Dr. Robotnik is Patrick's partner-in-crime, who also kills people with this disease. His plan needs to be so STERILE, only he knows about it.

He has no relation with Ringo Starr or Starr of the Elite Beat Agents, who POSSIBLY look at his dodongo at night.

Is this the Krusty Krab?

• No, this is Patrick.

Is This SPARTA?!

• No, This Is Patrick!

Is This Delicious?!?

• NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!! I'm not a Delicious.

Patrick after seeing the parts above him.

Quotes

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His name's.. not... RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• "YEAH, I LOVE BEING PURPLE!"
• "Don't touch me; I'm sterile!!"
• "MY NAME'S!! NOT! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!"
• "SpongeBob, are you going to listen to a big dummy, or are you going to listen to me?"
• "FISH PASTE!"
• "WE STOLE A BALLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
• "Let's get naked!"
• "I love you."
• "FINLAND!"
• "Hey SpongeBob, can you turn me into a jar of mayonnaise so I can eat myself?"
• "You took my only food! Now I'm gonna starve."
• "Thanks, SpongeBob! I think I'll eat it now!"
• "YOURS!? You mean mine!"
• "I can't see my forehead."
• "Oh boy; 3 AM!"
• "I have a few questions for this blade of grass..."
• "I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me wumbo..."
• "RECTANGLES!"
• "We're panty professionals!"
• "My shorts are wet!"
• "Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died! The End."
• "Eat Sperm!"

This is what the face of STERILE looks like.

Patrick approves his Chewiki article.

Criminal Record

• Patrick Star has been convicted of multiple charges of robbery and murder.
  • How many murders, no one will ever know.
• He once disguised himself as a girl, then stripped naked at the Krusty Krab, causing permanent eye damage to Squidward. Both Mr. Krabs and Squidward wanted to have sex with him during his time as a lady.
• He once bothered several old people by disguising himself as a snowman.
• He once stole a balloon along with Spongebob, causing them to be arrested for 2 seconds.
• One time, he ripped apart a heart mascot's clothing in half, only to then suck on his dick afterwards, which caused many people to run for their lives, including SpongeBob SquarePants himself for some strange reason.
• Both Patrick and SpongeBob went and drove a lawnmower owned by Squidward in a graveyeard, where they moved over some graves and coincidentally angered the Flying Dutchman as a result. Their consequence was that they were to be ghosts until they learned their lessons.
• He kidnapped and touched Jeffrey the Jellyfish, who was actually a guy in a costume.
• He once talked about fair labour and freedom of speech, which are taboo subjects in China, which caused the army of mind police to arrest him and Spongebob.
• One time, he almost chopped up a baby by karate.
• He stole many different types of food.

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