Spike

This article is filed under Characters.

Description

Born from an egg as part of Twilight Sparkle's admission test into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns (also known as Sonic's Schoolhouse), Spike has grown up doing difficult, physically enduring work as Twilight's slave. Slavery is still legal in Equestria, so poor Spike must shelve such heavy books and write to Princess Celestia every other day and is paid only in a place to stay and whatever the hell he wants. Spike's life is so difficult, he's taken to smoking large amounts of weed from a glass bong every day to keep himself sane. Won't you help this poor dragon? Please send a donation of $5, $10, $20, $50, or $100 to help dragons like Spike escape their plight and a loving and caring home. Preferably one with a beautiful white pony with purple hair and a diamond Cutie Mark who is fashionable and pretty and designs clothes.

Please call 1-800-ILOVERARITY

Likes

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Spike's secret is a secret to everypony

• Rarity
• Gems
• Jewels
• Diamonds
• Ice Cream
• Weed
• Sleeping
• Tech Decks
• Birthday presents
• Peewee

Dislikes

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Spike drinks his milk

• Other dragons
• Waking up
• Owloysious
• Diamond Dogs
• Watching Pinkie Pie fuck a snail

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Spike after getting evil lessons from Dr. Robotnik

Quotes

• "Okay. Imagine me with a nice long Fu Manchu-type beard. Or maybe a goatee..."
• "This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got: Hair-ity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Appletini, Flutterguy, and... uh... I got nothin'.... Twilight Sparkle. I mean seriously, I can't even work with that...!"
• "Can you explode twice?"
• "Uh...I like pickles?"
• "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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Thank Celestia Spike's art project stops here

• "Now, where is Lady Rarity?"
• "I'm coming for you, my lady! Hi ho, Twilight! Away!"
• "P.S.: Obviously, Spike did not have to learn a lesson, because he is the most awesome friend a pony could ask for. Unlike everypony else, he took things seriously-"
• "I wish Twilight would go on epic adventures more often. Best night's sleep I've had in weeks."
• "And sometimes, when no one’s around… I do this." *Stands in front of mirror and flexes* “Lookin’ good, Spike! Lookin’ real good!"
• Spike:"Hey, Pony Joe. Another donut." Pony Joe: "Don't you think you've had enough?" Spike: "Another donut! Extra sprinkles!"
• "SPIKE WANT"
• "So...no matter what happens, you're not gonna move a muscle, huh? Then maybe you won't mind if I... eat an entire tub of ice cream!"
• "OH MY GOD! LOOK AT ALL THIS PORN!"
• "Man, you are one crazy talking horse!"
• "You know, you can say "anybody", instead of "anypony." I don't really see what the point of that is."
• "Give me a break today huh? My girlfriend's trying to get me to quit weed!"
• "Hey? How's about a wanna have a pizza pie?"
• "She fucked a snail. I watched her fuck a snail once! That sounds weird right, just hearing me right? Imagine how weird it was to see it! SHE FUCKED A SNAIL!"
• "I'd rather stick my dick in an anthill"
• "AM I THE ONLY SANE ONE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD OF TECHNICOLOR PONY WEIRDOES!?!?!"

Trivia

Spike's famous line

• He has a crush on Rarity and would gladly show her his dragon dick if given the chance.
• Princess Celestia delivers letters to Twilight Sparkle via Spike's mouth. Its about as healthy for him as it sounds.
• He enjoys eating valuable gems that are probably worth a lot of money.
• He also likes eating ice cream until he pukes.
• He once grew to gargantuan sizes and demolished Ponyville because he got too many birthday presents.
• He is responsible for saving Rarity after she was kidnapped by the Diamond Dogs. He swears!
• He claims weed isn't a drug.
• He had an amazing bachelor party for Shining Armor AFTER his wedding.
• He watched Pinkie Pie fuck a snail! Seriously! SHE FUCKED A SNAIL!
• He went on a quest of self discovery and found that every other dragon in Equestria is an asshole.
• He has a pet baby Phoenix named Peewee
• He once feared that an owl was going to take his job
• Spike is a Tech Deck master and he's shown his skills off to many of Rarity's mexican sweat shop workers.
• "That's Spike!" is Spike's famous catchphrase in the hit show "TECHNICOLOR PONY WEIRDOES"