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Mouse Mickey

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
The evil of Mouse Mickey is hypnotizing you to play soccer with him.
{{#ev:youtube|FyKIE5t6ykM|320}}Watch Mouse Mickey doing the things that he likes on a normal day.

The Mouse Mickey is the minion to the center of fear and evil. Of course, I'm talking about Duck Donald and not Satan or Hitler. He is no way in Hell related to Mickey Mouse, just like how Duck Donald is not related to Donald Duck.

How Did This Happen?![edit]

I'm glad you asked that. Mickey Mouse was strolling along the park one day in the merry little month of May April of 2010, when he noticed Duck Donald (whom he thought was his friend/enemy Donald Duck). Mickey asked him how he was doing, but Duck Donald said nothing, like he should. Duck Donald thought of making his head go 'asplode, but he felt that he needed a minion in order to start his plans to (you guessed it) take over the world. (OF COURSE!!!) Anyway, Duck Donald ended up using a spell that he never used before on anyone and thus, Mickey Mouse transformed into the evil that is Mouse Mickey.

What Can Mouse Mickey Do?[edit]

What, you want me to tell you that?! Go watch the Youtube video on the right in order for you to answer that question. However, we can tell you that Mouse Mickey can make other people that he sees into his minions so that they can rebel against Duck Donald and have Mouse Mickey rule. His favorite minions are monkeys for some strange reason. However, he doesn't mind babies as minions. Yet for some strange reason, he doesn't want any polar bears as minions. Another thing that I should tell you is that his powers don't work in outer space, so live there for the rest of your life to make sure you never become a minion of his.


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Mouse Mickey's hanging out with Mouse Minnie in their usual place.

Despite popular belief, Mickey Mouse is still alive and breathing, and he definitely is not Mouse Mickey. The Mouse Mickey is less powerful than his master the Duck Donald, but he can still kick your ass. In fact, he can beat everyone except for his master and the four gods here (God, God Luigi, God Rabbit, & Satan). Unlike Duck Donald, he cannot be warded by playing the Beatles in super-slow motion. However, he does fear the Sinutab Skull of Death. Also, he likes talking to himself for some strange reason. But you cannot hear what he's saying at all because if you could, you would hear all the portals of Hell at once.

Signs That Mouse Mickey Is Coming![edit]

  • See everything from the Duck Donald section.
  • Jesus Christ doesn't forgive you for your sins (that means that you're officially going to Hell).
  • You notice that the intro to "Steamboat Willie" doesn't look right.
  • The world turns black & white and you hear some yodeling sounds.
  • You hear a bad MIDI version of the "Mickey Mouse" song loop over and over again while it forgets the "M-O-U-S-E" part.
  • You see Superman holding a balloon while standing on a cliff because he's contemplating suicide.
  • You hear the birds singing when there's no birds around... at all.
  • You first hear a cat screech, then hear the ship refueling sound from the Microsoft Pinball game, and finally hear strange (baby) laughter.
  • You see a statue (preferably one of the Archangel Michael) jump up, float around for a few seconds, then go back to it's same spot.
  • Some babies are freestyle dancing to bad rap music while being next to a dog house with a soccer ball and a video of some freestyle dancer in the background.
  • You see the Sinutab Skull of Death in the background (which makes him shit his pants).
  • A monkey and a gorilla are dancing badly to some bad music while being in the jungle.
  • You hear heavy breathing in the forest that isn't yours or your friends.
  • There's a soccer field around (he'll hypnotize you to join him, which will then make you a minion of his).
  • Screams of death are heard in your dojo while you're listening to bad Japanese music.
  • You see an anthropomorphized cat riding a horse. It doesn't help when you hear a meow and a whinny in that order.
  • Acoustic guitars are being played in the Arctic.
  • Superman is trying to fly out of the Earth's atmosphere, but he can't get out.
  • An airplane sound is heard in outer space.
  • Disco comes back bigger than ever.
  • A green demon's wearing a space helmet, a UFO has sprouted arms, and Chinese words are found in the flames of a rocket.
  • A dog is floating and it then barks without you even seeing it.
  • He's talking to his girlfriend and eventual wife Mouse Minnie.
  • You hear deformed wedding music.
  • A monkey, a gorilla, and a koala bear are seen in a church, especially as guests with tuxedos.
  • You hear normal wedding music in a church, yet no one's there.
  • People are cheering wildly over a monkey screaming.
  • A film gets played outdoors where everyone in a five-mile radius can see it.
{{#ev:youtube|oavMtUWDBTM|320}}The song called "Я очень рад, ведь я, наконец, возвращаюсь домой" ("I Am Very Glad, Because I'm Finally Returning Back Home") to help you out.
  • You get the Russian/Soviet song "Я очень рад, ведь я, наконец, возвращаюсь домой" ("I Am Very Glad, Because I'm Finally Returning Back Home") stuck in your head all day long.
  • Viacom sues your ass (Thankfully, he'll be on your sides when that happens.).


  • Duck Donald
  • Mouse Minnie
  • Satan
  • Trying to overthrow Duck Donald.
  • Terrorizing people.
  • Death
  • Doom
  • Destruction
  • Animals
  • Soccer (His favorite sport.)
  • Strange music (not the record label called "Strange Music Records").
  • Bunny Bugs (But only when he and Bunny Bugs are in a room together with Duck Donald.)