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Crash Matilda

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
NicePooper.jpg This article is about a creator of YouTube Poop videos, known as a Youtube Pooper.


Crash Matilda is just the sexiest. Check him out at https://youtube.com/crashmatilda, you vegetable.

Chapter 1: History of the Poop

Are you ready for the fuckin' greatest story of our generation? Let's set the scene: 2010, the middle school playground. A friend of Crash Matilda's introduces him to this wack bizness called YouTube Poop, with this video called "The Future Is..." He watches it and hates it, thinking it's some immature garbage, and vows never to see a YouTube Poop again. Apparently Crash is on some Benjamin Button shit though, 'cause as he got older, he started watching more and more, especially after discovering Danfango700, who is the fuckin' best.

Chapter 2: The Poop Emerges

Here's how Crash got into YTP, dawg. In the first half of 2016 Crash was fuckin' on a bad bitch, but they had a messy-ass breakup in July. Crash spiralled into depression, eating twenty gallons of ice cream and watching the entirety of Steven Universe. He became so obsessed with Steven Universe that he made his first YouTube Poop, based on the episode Mr. Greg, called "Steven University has an existential Christmas in July". It was a barrel o' monkeys full o' fun, so he decided to make more.

Chapter 3: A Diarrhea of Innovation

These days, Crash Matilda's videos have style, class and fashion. But baby, it wasn't always this way. Throughout 2016 Crash made his videos entirely from free software. Audio editing, including effects and sentence mixing, was done in Audacity, before the video would be synced to the audio using Windows Movie Maker. But watch out, sister: at the start of 2017 Crash bought himself Adobe Premiere and Photoshop, which made his videos less shit. In fact, shitologists have concluded that Crash's videos have decreased in shitness by 58% in the last fiscal year.

This upgrade lead to the creation of Crash's magnum opus: "Bowser Jr. switches to Wii Sports IN SPAAACE", based on a Nintendo Switch Parental Controls video. This poop was so fucking good that it broke the space-time continuum, and has gained over a million views. Recently, Crash has been crafting some sick beats in Ableton Live, making his poops even runnier by including original music, remixes and sound effects. Crash also intends to get off his lazy-ass ass and learn Adobe After Effects at some point.

Chapter 4: Fast Facts, Look Out!

  • Crash lives in Australia with his twelve kangaroos: Bob, Jim, Tuffit, Tim, Eric, Skrim, Happy, Grumpy, Fuckface, Bath, Porcelain and Farty Michael.
  • Crash is bisexual, so when he makes dick jokes he fucking means it.
  • Crash's favorite movie is Up in the Air.
  • Crash's favorite TV show is Bob's Burgers.
  • Crash does not have a favorite book because he cannot read.
  • Crash's video "FARMS Direct" was tweeted by DaThings1.
  • Crash would walk 500 miles but probably couldn't be fucked walking 500 more.
  • Crash is a regular at cs188's Mixer streams.
  • Crash kinda wants to be a furry but doesn't want to make a big deal out of it.
  • Crash cooks a fuckin' mean spaghetti.