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BONELORD THE MAGNIFICENT

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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IF THE HORNED KING SHOULD FIND IT, NOTHING.

Name: BONELORD THE MAGNIFICENT
Sex: dead
Age: OLDER THAN TIME ITSELF
Nationality: You
Occupation(s): LOUD ANCIENT SKELETON
Played By: John Hurt

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HIS THRONE. HIS THRONE ROOOOM

BONELORD THE MAGNIFICENT is a terrifying, gigantic galactic Bone Menace rumored to outlive the universe itself. His first capture on film occurred with his appearance in The Black Cauldron in 1985 where he was billed as The Horned King, despite possessing utterly no resemblance to The Horned King of the original book. He is the Great Grand Patriarch of All Bones, bringing the entire skeleton population as we know it to life in a bid of omnipresent conquering through the mighty Skeleton War. BONELORD's presence is so loud that the room volume level instantly goes up 40 dB the minute he walks into the room, and can command entire swaths of attention by doing this and otherwise standing still. So devastating is his will that prophets have warned if he should find it, Nothing. Despite his gargantuan horrific nature, he is known to spontaneously break out into dancing, preferably to the music of ABBA, Daft Punk, or The Alan Parsons Project, all of which are played just as loud. He also has a larger set of eyes that he can unsheathe in cases of extra loudness, and was saying My Boy and Die several millennia before these words entered the Hyrulean language. He presumably met his doom when the cauldron that gave birth to all Bone life consumed him in conclusion of a sealed pact, although BONELORD seemed to appear later, as always, completely unfazed, due to his devastating distorted volume shattering the cauldron from the inside. Bones, Oshare bones, Captain bones, Billy bones and Sleepy Bones are all among his children, with the lattermost bones directly inheriting BONELORD's love for dancing.

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AWAKENING HIS BONE CHILDREN

History[edit]

BONELORD THE MAGNIFICENT was born from a tumblr exchange between Dew and a mutual follower in early summer 2015 over a conversation about The Black Cauldron. After a series of hilarious captioned snapshots of The Horned King from the film, Dew took to Youtube and made a video rechristiening the character as BONELORD THE MAGNIFICENT, establishing his ear-splitting presence and love of dance pop, which was then carried over into two further videos. These videos did well enough for Ricesnot to notice them at the time, leading him to comment "What is this source?? I must have it"" and comparing it positively to older YTPs he used to enjoy. Ricesnot himself has yet to make a video using BONELORD THE MAGNIFICENT, but Metroid998 later created his own unofficial PART 4 which was wholeheartedly embraced by dew as canon. GETTING THE FUCK DOWN