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Captain bones

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Name: Captain Bones
Age: 1645 (age 377–378)
Nationality: You
Occupation(s): pirate skeleton

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Captain Bones is a pirate skeleton who first appeared on the show Crashbox in 1999. Unlike Bones' "OG Bones" character, Captain Bones is a purebred pirate, and the sole inhabitant of his run-ashore ship where he has dwelled for hundreds of years claiming to have sailed the seven seas (or "saiass the sess sseess") for an eternity. To pass the time, he has disassembled his body and rearranged it into various simple math problems for whenever cameras loom near, for the kids at home to solve. His patience usually gets easily tried, and he finds himself always giving the answer at the end and complaining that his puzzles cannot be solved, despite not being versed enough in modern film technology to know that he can't hear any answers from inside the camera. Occasionally, his puzzles are less kid friendly, such as when he hints at what ye be badly wantin'. He is an avid but terrible player of Starcraft, and suffers from a perpetually high libido. He is the uncle of Bones and Oshare bones, and frequently teases the former about his lacklustre skills at portraying a pirate. His ship has also on one occasion been carpet bombed by US army helicopters in an apparent sting operation.

{{#ev:youtube|j78Cq9g-X7M|320}}he has a penchant for being among the meaner of the bones