SpongeBob SquarePants (character)

This article is filed under Characters.

Look how gay he looks.

SpongeBob (B. 1986) is the main character of his self-titled cartoon show. He is a sponge who lives in a pineapple under the sea. His pants are square!

Sinister sir.

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SpongeBob shows us the tragic side effects of Magic Drugs.

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What has been seen here cannot be unseen...

Sorry you had to see that.

Life As A Hero

• He's gone on a quest to become The Overture, which he ended up succeeding. He eventually lost the title to Super Macho Man.
• He once saved Bikini Bottom by being a God at Guitar Hero.

Likes

• Patrick Star
• Mr. Krabs
• Squidward Tentacles
• Sandy
• Jellyfishing
• Blowing Bubbles
• The Krab of Krustiness
• Krabby Patties
• Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

Quotes

• "It's big, scary, and pink!"
• "And you split your sofa in half, it'll be really easy to move now!"
• "I've been saving it in my pocket for us to share!"
• "I don't think you can be the mom, Patrick, because you never wear a shirt."
• "Stare at Patrick!"
• "There's no shower at work!"
• "See you're on top this time."
• "All alone with Mermaid Man's belt."
• "I'm a dirty boy!"
• "It popped..."
• "The sky had a baby from my cereal box!"
• "Well I see Mr. Krabs' zipper is undone!"
• "We've been speckledorfed!"
• "We've been Ganondorfed!"
• "It's normal sized and fully functional!"
• "Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands? Have you finished those errands?"
• "Look at me, Gary! I'm... NAKEEEDD!"
• "That didn't help at all!"
• "I expanded a bit."
• "Now eat it, swallow it and choke it down."
• "C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! It'll help if you just sing along!"

Trivia

• Flunked out of high school, which is why he works at a fast food restaurant.
• Used to live on welfare before he got a job at the Krusty Krab.
• Also fails in Driving School regularly.
• His IQ is an imaginary number.
• In the decade that he has worked at the Krusty Krab, he has never had a promotion. Sad... isn't it?
• Is married to Mermaid Man.
• Reproduces by budding.
• Once made a sweater for Squidward made of his eyelashes. When that failed, he made another made of tears.
• He is so weak that he once had to have someone else lift his drink off of his hand so he could move it. He can't even lift up a stick with two marshmallows attached to it (but can somehow drag Patrick's rock).
• Was once beaten up by Sandy Cheeks because he forgot her last name.
• One time, he fell in love and lusted over a Krabby Patty. Yes.
  • And then, due to it being awful even for the Sponge's tolerance, he decided to eat its nasty ass.
• Is an owner of Mr. Krabs' soul because of a favor involving - you've guessed it - money! He's currently in dispute with Patchy the Pirate (a.k.a., the Devil) and Cindy Crawford for who has full custody over it.
• He can rip his pants on command. However, he overused this joke and lost his friends, which turned him emo. He was cured of his emoness by playing a guitar made of sand.
• He loves assaulting Gary's mind with subliminal messages.