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Ash Ketchum

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.
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Our hero doing what he does best; Masturbating behind the bushes.

Ash Ketchum (sometimes called Ass Ketchup) is a teenager and star of the anime, Pokémon. His goal in life is to one day become the so-called "Pokémon Master," and to do so he must capture every existing Pokémon on the planet. Much to his dismay he will never become one, as he always (on purpose) ignores rare Pokemon waiting to be caught, and he continually let's his Pokémon go over periods of time. And it sure doesn't help when another hundred or two hundred of the little bastards are released every four years.

Ash also has a rare disease which prevents him from ever reaching puberty. For nearly ten years, he has stayed the same exact age (Ten or eleven), but this disorder does not seem exclusive to him. However, as a result, Ash is doomed to wander the planet aimlessly until the end of time or until the show is finally canceled which right now seems like an impossibility.

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This is what Ash's Pikachu looks like.

Likes

{{#ev:youtube|TTlaLTwhwAk|320}}Ash punches Pikachu.

Dislikes

  • Gary Oak, his rival who is more likely to become a Pokemon Master then he, and is better than Ash in almost every conceivable way possible.
  • You
  • Team Rocket (Especially since he thinks that they have no lives at all.)
  • Me
  • Rifle scopes (They were the reason why Ash started punching Pikachu.)
  • The other Ash from the Evil Dead series.

Liked By

{{#ev:youtube|pMVqfZUiVzM|320}}Ash turns into a Pikachu while Brock calls him an ass

Disliked By

Quotes

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Ash partying hardcore.
Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

WARGH!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Pikachu, I choose you!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

I'm stupid?

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

I CAUGHT (insert Pokemon name here)!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Maybe it's a... Cowterpie!?

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Now I can see lots of lucky stars!

Ash Ketchum Ash Ketchum

Maximum Hardness!

Trivia

  • Ash is likely based off of "Red" from the first Pokemon games.
  • Stole Misty's bike in the very first episode, which is one of two reasons why she follows him around constantly. You can use your imagination for the second reason.
  • Earns many Gym badges by not actually beating the Gym Leader in a fair match, but instead gets them by cheating (case-in-point: in his battle against Brock, his Pikachu set-off the sprinkler system, which defeated Brock's Onyx) or by pumping his Pikachu full of steroids (see the battle against Brock again).
  • Ash has a father who is only mentioned, never shown. Supposedly Professor Oak had an affair with Ash's mother. This may be the reason why we haven't heard from either of them for a few seasons.
  • Ash likes to beat off to Misty's Facebook pictures.
  • He simply HAS to twist his hat around backward before throwing a Poké Ball at a Pokemon.
  • In one episode he went by the fake name "Tom Ato".
  • He loves Lucky Star, especially when being zapped by Pikachu.
  • He thinks that Arbok evolves into Seviper, which is, of course, WRRRRRROOOONNNNNGGGG!!!!