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Wizardheimer
From Chewiki Archive - YouChew:
1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
This article is filed under Characters.Wizardheimer is an eeeevil Koopa Wizard who holds people prisoners in the dungeon of his haunted house for no apparent reason. His favourite pastime is slaughtering everyone in sight, which he does with gusto, often cackling in a deluded manner the whole time. Often called an eggface, he once tried to take over the Youtube poop world after he killed the retarded Goofy with a seizure spell. He despises people who get his name wrong, and that's the reason why he exploded of anger during the epic battle.
Names
- Wiseacre
- Wizenheimer
- Wizenwhatever
- Wizzenwiseguy
- Wizenhoowhatchamacalit
- Alzheimer
- Alka-Seltzer.
- Eggface (Under no circumstances should you ever call Wizardheimer this to his face)
- Whyzenheimer
- Angry German Kid
- Jafar
- Matt Damon
- Wizetti King
- Wizardheimlichmaneuver
Quotes
- "Now! Plunge yourselves into that warp pipe!"
- "How do ya feel about BOB-OMBS?"
- "BOB-OMBS?"
- "Welcome to the dungeon of my haunted house, plumb-scum!"
- "Thats Wizardheimer! WIIIIIIIIIZARD-heimer!"
- "Because, Im an eeeeevil Koopa Wizard!"
- "I just LOVE to have people over to...HANG AROUND!"
- "What do you want, you prehistoric punk?!"
- "You ridiculous runt of a reptile!"
- "Take this, lizard lips!"
- "My magic wand! Ohhhhh...without it I'm powerless!"
- "Give me that wand back, yoooouuuu green-faced glutton! ...YOW!"
- "Hey, watch where you're going, EGGHEAD!"
- "YOU ARE!"
- "Sooo, what do you have to say NOW, egghead?"
- "Nyeuhehehehuhuhuhuh!"
- "THAT'S WWWWWWWIZARDHEIMER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER-ER!!!!"
- "I crown you, royal egghead!"
- "Oh, fuck you, Luigi!"
Other Crap
Likes
- Killing everything
- Laughing all the way,HAHAHA!
- Causing untold misery and strife
- Destruction
- Turning people into eggs
- Putting people in his dungeon
- Thrakkorzog (Was his roommate in college.)
- Scaring Yoshi
- Raping Yoshi
- Anal beads
- Vibrating anal beads
Dislikes
- Unsatisfying anal beads
- Toasters
- Being called an eggface
- Luigi
- Oogtar
- Being mistaken for Kamek
- Everyone, including you
- Anyone who doesn't get his name right
See also:
Trivia
- He is responsible for creating Caterpillars, which were originally a brand of anal beads.
- It's constantly argued if he claims he's named "Wizenheimer" or "Wizardheimer". For this sake, people just call him both.
- Is a popular figure in YTPMVs.
- He knows how to speak Spanish with a delightful Spanish accent
- He recently became a human for some reason and actually helped Mario and his friends drive King Koopa out of Cumalot.
- It is written, only he can defeat Mr. Koopas.
- Wizardheimer was to appear in Mario Kart 64; however, he was rejected because he couldn't stop throwing the development staff into his dungeon, so he was replaced with Donkey Kong.
