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Facepalm Luigi
This article is filed under Characters.Emo Luigi is one of Luigi's many forms (also known by SuperYoshi and TheDumbening as Facepalm Luigi). This is what happens when Luigi discovers the effect he has had on YouTube Poop, or once he realises he is no longer funny.
Effect on Personal Life
When Luigi becomes emo, it has drastic effects on the Super Mario Bros. Plumbing business. One day, in 1997, Mario and Luigi were called to fix a problem with the great toilet of Robotnik. When they arrived, they discovered that Robotnik's toilet had been clogged up with something nasty. As Mario attempted to use a plunger to fix it, Luigi watched closely. Then it happened. The plunger broke in half, and the bottom segment went down the drain. Luigi attempted to save it, but he was too late. He ran out of Robotnik's Fortress, and was found a few hours later next to a dustbin in Florida.
Luigi spent the next few months thinking about the plunger, thinking that it's loss was all his fault. On Novermber 18th of that year, Luigi attempted to slit his wrist with the sharp side of a yoshi egg. Unfortunately for him, the lightbulb exploded, and Luigi spent a few hours crying in the darkness. Eventually, Mario came in to fix the light bulb, whilst Luigi wrote a poem about how much he missed the old lightbulb.
He now believes that he is to blame for everything that has ever happened, including the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, World War II, & AIDS.
Suicide Attempts
Luigi has attempted to commit suicide on over 9000 occasions:
- March 5, 1997 - Hanging. Failed due to lack of rope.
- June 16, 1997 - Hanging. Failed due to too much rope.
- November 9, 1997 - Slitting Wrist. Failed due to power failure.
- December 2, 1997 - Electrocution. Failed due to power cut.
- Febuary 6, 1997 - Jumping off a building. Failed as the building was actually a small garage.
- May 5, 1998 - Slitting Wrist. Failed due to the fact condoms cant cut your wrist.
- May 3, 1999 - Suffocation. Failed as the condom was too small.
- May 5, 2000 - STD. Failed because he forgot to take the condom off.
- August 8, 2002 - Drug Overdose. Success. Unfortunately, medics came and revived him.
- March 9, 2004 - Deliberate overdose on bacon. Success. Unfortunately Fat Mario arrived to suck the fat out of him. Luigi then suffered from mixed emotions of sadness and sensation.
- April 7, 2005 - Tried to drown himself. Failed because he thought it was boring.
- January 9, 2007 - Bowel Obstruction. Failed due to the fact laxatives don't obstruct bowels.
- June 3, 2007 - Laid in the middle of a freeway, expecting to get run over.
- July 2, 2007 - Finally gave up waiting to get run over and jumped off the freeway, unfortunately landing in a passing pillow, marshmallow, and cotton swab truck.
- October 3, 2007 - Attempted to freeze himself in the cold, October temperatures of Alaska. He then found himself face-to-face with a Fire Sumo.
- October 8, 2007 - Pissed off a Fire Sumo on purpose so that it would crack the ground open below him and Luigi would fall to his death. Unfortunately he found a magic balloon.
- October 13, 2007 - Realized that select days of his previous suicide attempts were consecutive digit of pi, and thus attempted to overdose on pumpkin pie. Failed due to the fact that he got full, and that he is not allergic to pumpkin.
- October 29, 2007 - Tried to hang himself with the invisible long string from the magic balloon that he found. Failed when he found out that he not only couldn't find the string that he held, he also didn't find a perfectly suitable place for him to hang himself.
- December 2, 2007 - Stabbed his stomache and the left testicle after the pooper known as Deepercutt publicly humiliated him by showing an unreleased music video of the song "Watch Me Bleed" starring Emo Luigi.
- December 6, 2007 - Shot himself in the head after King Koopa killed Mario, Toad, and Peach. R.I.P. Emo Luigi....maybe....
- December 7, 2007 - Got up after lying on the ground FOR HOURS when he got bored of pretending to be dead. He missed his head by six inches and incedently shot TREE.
- December 9, 2007 - Attempted to piss off Brock Samson in hopes the he would finnally die, but Brock took Emo Luigi's jokes and insults as friendly gestures and left him alone.
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- December 13, 2007 - Tried to deliberately be crushed to death inside a working trash compactor. Success, but instead of killing him, left Luigi in a cartoonish cube shape for the rest of the day.
- January 1, 2008 - Tried to drown himself in champagne at his New Year's party. Failed due to the fact that he didn't even have a New Year's party.
- January 15, 2008 - Attempted to jump off the roof of the nearest video game store because Super Smash Bros. Brawl was delayed AGAIN. Survived with extremely minor bruises.
- (Friday) Febuary 13, 2008 - Tried to get Jason Voorhees to kill him. Failed due to that Jason was dead.
- March 9th, 2008 - Attempted to enter the Negative Zone, getting himself killed after all the Brawl Copies got sold out. Failed not only because Regular Luigi got probation on the move shortly before he managed to patent the new move after Dio Brando had sued him of the move, but also because Emo Luigi cant perform this move without switching back to Regular Luigi without losing his emo state.
- September 11th, 2008 - Attempted to go back in time to Sep. 11th 2001 and get on a hijacked plane to get himself killed. Failed due to Osama Bin Laden actually raping him in the plane bathroom and safely landing to let him get off.
- September 16, 2008 - Attempted to fall in Jonas Bros. mosh pit during a concert in Chicago. Last seen in critical condition, with cooties all over him, and his ears bleeding due to the screaming. He is expected to make a recovery. M. Bisons response: "YES!"
- September 20, 2008 - Attempted to unplug his life support machine next to his hospital bed. Failed due to his inability to move his broken arms.
- October 7, 2008 - Walked out of hospital, fully healed, and jumped into a manhole and tried drowning himself (again). Failed because the stench was just too much.
- October 10, 2008 - Ate a bag of kitty litter. Failed, but he did get bad breath.
- October 12, 2008 - Swallowed at tooth brush trying to get rid of his bad breath, but it melted inside of his stomach due to the powerful emo acids inside of it.
- October 12, 2008 (One minute after last one)- Emo Luigi decided to die the simple way: plastic bag. He was breathing it so hard that it was sucked up into his nose and flew down into his stomach once again to be destroyed by his emo acids.
- October 13, 2008 - Attempted to piss off Shadow the Hedgehog by making fun of Maria. Failed because Shadow was too much into his flashbacks of pain to notice. Emo Luigi ignored the last sentence typed and woke Shadow up to try to piss him off again. Failed because Shadow felt his emo-pain radiation and became friends with him.
- October 17, 2008 - Due to the incredible depression of not being invited to Walrusguy's joyous return party, he stood out in the Chocolate Rain, hoping this would coat him in chocolate and get kids to eat him. Unfortunately, it only coated his clothes, causing the children to devour his clothes, and leaving him not only emo, but also completely naked.
In the Media
With so much emo, it was inevitable that Emo Luigi would someday create his own depressing music video before one of his suicide attempts would actually work. His video, "Watch Me Bleed" (directed by Deepercutt), is shown on the right. Emo Luigi grew even more emo after realizing the video's high popularity and success.
Notable Things Which Turned Luigi Emo
- Astronaut Tails
- Farms
- Yoshi
- Mama Luigi
- YouTube Poop
- The Electric Cheese
- FOTEP
- Spaghetti
- Princess Peach's Boobs
- Wizkid837 (who is rumored to be his cousin)
- Wizwar100 (also rumored to be a long lost cousin of Wizkid837)
- Tommy Turnbull who taunted him with a pair of coupons
- His own music videos
- The death of Peach, Mario, and Toad
- The Insane Clown Posse
- The Goodies
Quotes
- "crying"
- "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!"
- "WHERE'S THE LIGHTSWITCH" (Said shortly after suicide attempt No. 6)
- "I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO IT!" (Said after he got Princess Peach pregnant with emo babies)
- "WE RESCUED THE SHIT!"
- "YOSHI?!!!"
