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The Town With No Name
Description[edit]
The Town With No Name is a interactive Western game that barely has more interactivity in it than Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. It was released only on the Amiga CDTV (or CD32 for certain countries), which meant that it'd be very likely that you never even heard of this game, let alone played it. It was originally destined to be forgotton in the Halls of Time until two people decided to riff on the entire game. On August 17, 2011, the world finally became aware of this game with a two part video involving what looked like everything that's found in this game. Naturally, people loved it, so there will be YouTube Poops involving this game.
Story[edit]
The story involves "The Man With No Name" getting off of a train into The Town With No Name and he gets greeted by gunfire. When he shoots the guy who apparently is Evil Eb's 'littlest' brother, Evil Eb decides to take care of business and get his minions to kill the guy who killed his bro. Now the guy has to travel all over the little town to find all the enemies and kill them before he dies himself. At the end, if you killed everyone, Evil Eb begs you to finish him off because he thinks "The Man With No Name" is some guy named "Billy Bob". However, he doesn't do that because he Evil Eb didn't know the man wasn't Billy Bob, and the man didn't know he wasn't in a place called "Dodge Gulch". They both think it's funny how life works that way sometimes and they becomes friends of some sort and the man buys Evil Eb some whiskey for him because he wants to be even with him for killing his crew... with the money he gained from the deaths of Evil Eb's partners. However, if you didn't kill everyone, you leave the same way you came into the town, only you get to jump on an old man's pet spider twice instead of just once. (Whether you have to wait 8 days for the train to arrive or not is up to how you play the game, although you'll most likely have the eight day jump.) In the end, you shoot a kid because he called you "Shane", the train moves up into outer space, and travels at the speed of light. That isn't a joke, even though that ending isn't the real ending.
Media Information[edit]
An interactive point & click Western adventure game for the Amiga CDTV/CD32.
Made By[edit]
- On-Line Entertainment & Delta 4 Interactive (D4i)
Country of Origin[edit]
Date[edit]
- October 1992
First Used By[edit]
Sometimes Used By[edit]
Disliked By[edit]
- PapaGonzales - He honestly thinks this source is unpoopable!
Characters[edit]
- The Man With No Name - The hero of our story. He's a drifter who originally planned on going to some place named "Dodge Gulch" in order to meet his sister. However, he didn't know that he was at the wrong place, as that was the next stop from The Town With No Name, 20 miles down the line. He hates spiders, using stairs to go down, and the horse in the livery stable, he uses deoderant every day, bathes only when deoderant fails him, has sex with whores for 8 whole days, kills when necessary, doesn't mind sharing whiskey with criminal bosses who planned on killing him and buys drinks for them with money he gained from the deaths of their minions, and his real name is definitely not "Shane" nor "Billy Bob". When he dies, he becomes "The Ghost With No Name" and he commands you to "Press A to begin again, boy!"
- "Old Timer"/Guest Welcomer - An old man who greets people who enters the town. He has (or rather, had) a pet spider because apparently, his pet elephant ran away. He'll never leave the town until he finds his spider alive, no matter what anyone thinks his spider is!
- The Cowboy/The Blacksmith/The Man With The Cigarette - Probably the coolest guy in the entire game. Outside, he knows when trouble's around, but doesn't do anything because he just so happens to know his limitations and he knows when a guy gets ammunition from sex without looking at windows. Inside his home, as the blacksmith, he doesn't really say or do much, but he will shoot your entire head off if he knows that you're trying to shoot him. He also doesn't have a good sense of knowing what the right time is.
- The Storeclerk - He greets people who come to his store with a "once-in-a-lifetime never-to-be-repeated special offer". He doesn't like it when the customer(s) just want to look around, but if they do buy into his offer, they'll get... a baked bean.
- The Bartender - The bartender just spends his days inside the saloon, waiting for people to talk to him, play cards with him (at least once), ask him for drinks, or wanting someone to do his whore named Mary Lou Joe Beth Sue. He has the greatest close-up face ever seen and even though he doesn't really approve of it, he loves it whenever someone does his whore, no matter how long it takes for them to finish. His bar also houses a killer or two for some odd reason.
- The Priest - He's basically lonely because no one really goes to church since the town is basically full of sinful bastards. Whenever he does see someone entering his church, sitting down, and praying, he thinks that it's good to see that the person still lives with Him, since it gives one (i.e., him) hope. When The Man With No Name entered, however, he ended up floating up to the sky, out of the church, and
into Heavenback into his home planet since it needed him now. - The Telegrapher/The Sheriff/Sheriff Hat - He delivers telegrams to people in the town. He also tells people the rules before they duel in this town.
- Abraham Lincoln - The town's coroner and mortician. He gets replaced by the Grim Reaper a few times, but he returned eventually for some of the bigger bounties found.
- Mary Lou Joe Beth Sue - The whore who lives in the last room on the top floor of the saloon. She doesn't like it whenever someone tries to act like their clean with just deoderant on them. However, once the person gets cleaned up a little bit, she's prepared to do the person, no matter how long it takes. Once he's finished, she'll apparently pay the guy with ammunition. She used to have light in her room, but ever since the bartender decided to stop giving her light, more people have decided to come and meet her, if you know what I mean.
- Wildcard "Willy" McVee - He comes around to the bar whenever the bartender doesn't want to play with you, yet you want to play some more once you've killed a certain guy from Evil Eb's crew. His favorite game to play is "Chase The Ace", which involves the two players swapping cards out and finding the highest card of the two shown. To him, the loser has to pay by cents from the cards, not something like dollars. He apparently never loses or gets cheated on, and if he spots someone who does that, he wants to settle it out on the streets with a gunfight. Unfortunately for him, he got shot by The Man With No Name before he even had the chance to do so. Also, he's born British, has really hairy hands on the top, at least three whores want to decalre their love for him in prison (Josie, Sue, & Beth), and he cares way too much about his clothing.
- "Old Man" - Not related to the "Old Timer"; looks to be near the Blacksmith's age. When asked whether he has the right time, he overly-dramaticizes his chicken-scracthed watch with a picture of what appears to be his girlfriend, then he just simply says "No."
- Evil Eb's Littlest Brother - He's a weak man. He's literally as weak as cardboard. Even a dead vulture can kill this man. He must have at least one more older brother of his besides Evil Eb to be the littlest brother.
- Evil Eb - His bro got killed. Now he wants revenge. He has minions who will help him out with his plans. However, when they all got killed, he decides that if he wants something done right, he have to do it himself. However, when The Man With No Name shoots his hat off, he demands that the man finishes him off because he thought he was some guy named "Billy Bob". However, he doesn't die in the end because he actually thinks that The Man With No Name's situation was kind of funny and he establishes a sort of friendship with the guy by a whiskey that's been paid by The Man With No Name's money he earned from Eb's dead comrades. What an strange way to go. For some odd reason, he doesn't fire off shots with two handguns, but with a shotgun, despite the fact that he had two guns shown earlier.
- A Little Boy - He wants The Man With No Name to come back to the town again someday. However, he ended up calling him "Shane", which caused The Man With No Name to kill him.
- The Pebble People - They found under the sign that begins the game. They sing in high-pitched voices and they only shut up when a British bastard threatens them to shut up.
Further Information[edit]
- This is the best game ever!!!
- This game makes Hotel Mario and the other CDI games look like masterpieces.
- The "super-special mystery option" found in this game is actually an advertisement for the companies' other Amiga CD32/CDTV games that aren't really as good as this game, such as "Psycho Killer".
Other Possible Names For This Game[edit]
- The Town With No Game
- True Shit
- A Fistful of Dollars: This Game's Budget
- Brokegraphics Mountain
- The Bad, The Worse, And The Shitty
Main Source For Poopers[edit]
- Practically every cut scene can be found on YouTube.
