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Princess Zelda
This article is filed under Characters.
To learn about Zelda's pregnancy, see Pregnant Zelda.
Zelda is the daughter of the King of Hyrule and therefore the princess of the kingdom of Hyrule. She worries about her father thus constantly seeking Impa for guidance. She is in no way related to the Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Skills
She can play Chuck Fo Fu-- ermm -- Scentless Apprentice on the flute very loudly, smash golems, melt wizards into bubbling pools of goo, get Nintendo products like the Power Glove, and laugh in a disturbing manner alongside her father.
Controversy
Zelda is always in constant feud with Ganon. One day she brought light to his lair, but Ganon did not take this lightly. Ganon sent bolts towards her and claimed that she would die. In retaliation to his threat, she chained Ganon up and threw him into the Book of Koradai.
Legal Issues
Zelda is currently fighting over legal custody of her child with Ganon, Ganon Jr. Also, Zelda was recently revealed to be a scam artist from Nigeria in Judge Judy's courtroom while she was serving as a witness for Ms. Filkins, but the fight ended due to Zelda's death.
Appearance & Personality
Zelda, unfortunately, is one of the homelier females of Hyrule due to her "small breast size" and annoying voice. Dispite the former, proof has been found on the YouChewPoop forums that Zelda is capable of being titty-fucked, confirmed to have done so with Link. She is known to have mood swings from time to time as a result of PMS. When she does not get her way she madly tosses mirrors into walls. Some say she is quite the whiner as well. Like most women, her main pet peeve is not receiving any calls or letters or emails from her loved ones at least twice a day. Despite her royal qualities, she is addicted to drugs, something her father disapproves of. She also gets drunk at parties frequently.
Memorable Quotes
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Princess Zelda IMPA?!
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Princess Zelda Nothing, Link. We were just about to have a feast.
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Princess Zelda Father!
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Princess Zelda But father, what if something happens to you?
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Princess Zelda You've got to be kidding.
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Princess Zelda Make me crouch down.
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Princess Zelda Why'd you do that?!
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Princess Zelda You did NOT!
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Princess Zelda Hi, Father.
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Princess Zelda What?!
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Princess Zelda You know Link?
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Princess Zelda What about Link?
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Princess Zelda Do you see anything?
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Princess Zelda Good!
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Princess Zelda Guess again, iron knuckle!
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Princess Zelda Heh! At least!
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Princess Zelda I know!
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Princess Zelda Thanks!
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Princess Zelda What? Link? You've saved me!
(Since Goronu was posing as Zelda at the time, this quote could be attributed to him also.)
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Princess Zelda Stop looking at yourself!"
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Princess Zelda HA!
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Princess Zelda Stop talking whore!
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Princess Zelda Father! Stop talking about your dick.
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Princess Zelda Word up, homie!
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Princess Zelda Can't you just be straight for once?
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Princess Zelda Let's go fuck!
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Princess Zelda Wake up, Impa!
