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Windows

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 05:00, 23 May 2012 by Yoshit (talk | contribs)
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Windows 98.
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Canned Windows 95 is delicious!

Windows is an operating system first made in 1985 that most people are running. It became immensely popular in the '90s (to the point where it was the most popular OS family), which caused Bill Gates to become filthy rich.

In the late Noughties, its popularity started to decline, due to the popularity of smart phones, such as iPhones, and tablets, such as iPads, neither of which run Windows.

Versions

Windows 1.0

The first version of Windows, released in 1985. It was practically a glorified shell for MS-DOS, with a few new features.

This version of Windows is the most famous to Youtube Poop, due to its infamous advert featuring Steve Ballmer.

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Windows 2.0

Windows 2.0 (1987) added the ability to drag and move windows around, but not much else.

Windows 3.1

Windows 3.1 was the first truly famous version of Windows, and shaped the way Windows would look and feel for a long time. Windows 3.1, in fact, was very different from the previous versions in many ways.

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Windows 95

Windows 95 was another milestone in Windows in that it changed the feel of Windows to what it is today. Unfortunately, it was prone to crashing. It also has lots of flying coffee and hats integrated into the operating system, which are only visible in cheesy promotional videos.

  • Despite popular rumour, Mozilla Firefox does, in fact, run on Windows 95.

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Windows 98

Windows 98 wasn't much different from Windows 95, however, it was much more stable than Windows 95, and in fact, is still used by some people.

Windows 98 SE

Windows 98 SE was an upgrade to Windows 98 that fixed some problems with the original.

Windows ME

Windows ME sucked. I am not even going to bother with that shitload of fuck. It introduced a prototype version of Windows Movie Maker, but it had no effects and was only good for stutters. Deepercutt used it to make his first poop, but he moved onto Windows XP later.

Windows 2000

Windows 2000 was a version of Windows that was better than ME, but was otherwise unremarkable, aside from the fact that it was the first NT-based consumer version of Windows.

Windows XP

Windows XP is the most commonly used version of Windows, and included a much better version of Windows Movie Maker, but it wasn't perfect. It was launched in 2001, and is still today the most commonly used version by poopers and viewers.

Windows Vista

Windows Vista was another landmark in Windows history, in that it radically changed the appearance of Windows. It was also the first 64-bit Windows, excluding the 64-bit variant of XP. Movie Maker was updated again with more effects similar to Adobe Premiere, but it still couldn't reverse. Buh?

Windows 7

Windows 7 was the version after Vista. It is designed to be very efficient as far as RAM usage and computing power usage, and in fact, it has been proven to work on PCs built in the '90s, and designed for Windows 95. There is a Windows Live Movie Maker, replacing the old one, but it got rid of many features. Buh?!

Windows 8

You're trying too hard, Microsoft. Just give up.

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