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Gabe Newell

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
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Gabe Newell in all his glory.

Gabe Newell (Alias GabeN or Gay Ben) is the co-founder of Valve Corporation, the company responsible for popular video games such as Half-Life, Team Fortress 2 and Left 4 Dead.

History

Gabe Newell was born in 1962, and he was the most intelligent man at Harvard University, causing a huge number of teachers to lose their job. He replaced all of them! Then with his gigantic brain, he went to Microsoft, only to be fired by Bill Gates for hacking his high-tech computers.

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Gabe Newell's great great grandpa.

Valve Corporation

Before Gabe turned it into a video game company, Valve was a plumbing syndicate, founded by two famous plumbers, but the syndicate went bankrupt thanks to Gabe wasting all their money on food. So, he decided to turn the old plumbing corporation into a merry land of fun, joy, and Russians.

List of video games made by Valve

  • Half-Life (1998)
  • Half-Life: Opposing Force (1999)
  • Counter-Strike (1999)
  • Day of Defeat (1999)
  • Team Fortress Classic (1999)
  • Ricochet (2000)
  • Half-Life: Blue Shift (2001)
  • Half-Life: Decay (2001)
  • Half Life 2 (2004)
  • Half Life 2: Deathmatch (2004)
  • Counter-Strike: Source (2005)
  • Day of defeat: Source (2005)
  • Garry's Mod (not exactly made, but available on Steam) (2005)
  • Half Life 2: Episode 1 (2006)
  • The Orange Box (2007)
  1. Half Life 2: Episode 2
  2. Portal
  3. Team Fortress 2

Likes

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What a wonderful afternoon...

Dislikes

  • Other FPS games.
  • Being called fat
  • Being called "Gay Ben"

Liked by

  • Half-Life Fans.
  • His wife

Disliked by

  • Other video game companies.
  • Fans who want to play Half-Life 2: Episode 3 already.

Trivia

  • He has a wife and two diabetic children.
  • He's also playable in Left 4 Dead.
  • He caused at least three quarters of every single earthquake from 1963 to date.
  • TyrannosaurusReich loves him. Maybe even more than he loves Mai.
  • Gabe used to own a Bowflex machine, but he ended up eating it whole.
  • He has a secret desire to be Ringo Starr of The Beatles.
  • Everytime you insult Gabe's girth, Episode 3 gets delayed another week. Think about that before you say something next time.