Willy Wonka

This article is filed under Characters.

Willy's dancing to a ritual for hopes to find some new children to have around.

Willy Wonka is a crazy pedophile that owns a candy factory. This candy is alleged to be made out of little boys' nuts immersed into little girls' love juice but some say that it is a rare chocolate found in Bosnia. Still, some others think say that his candy is crap coated LSD tablets.

Likes

• Candy
• Taking people on psychotic boat rides.
• Making sure people get mindfucked.
• Yelling out "You Get Nothing!" and "You Lose!" to random people.
• Looking like a cross between Marilyn Manson and the Russian lady from Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull.
• Seeing MacArthur Park burning in the dark.

Dislikes

• Lex Luthor (Says that pedophilia is WRONG!!!!)
• Gum
• Sonic (Says that pedophilia is no-good, although it is very well known that Sonic himself is a pedophile.)
• Oompa Loompa Unions
• Rick Astley
• Not having the recipes to his candies ever again.

Trivia

• His chocolate factory was once just a standard chocolate factory, until it one day closed, only to reopen as one of the weirdest places on earth.

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Here's his (in)famous chocolate bar.

• His father was a dentist that prohibited candy. In fact, he one time burned all of Willy's Halloween candy, the dick.
  • After this, he ran away from his home, claiming to go to such chocolaty places as Bavaria and the like.
• After realising that he was growing old, he decided to give his chocolate factory to the winner out of the 5 golden tickets.