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Bowser

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 13:13, 14 May 2010 by Yoshit (talk | contribs) (WRONG! He is a turtle, not a dinosaur.)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

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Name: Bowser
Appears In: Super Mario Bros.
Sex: Male
Age: 36
Occupation(s): Evil King of the Koopas

See King Koopa for more information.

A giant turtle like creature that is found in Mario games, in which he is known to Mario as "Bowsuh". He has an obsession with ruining picnics and Gay Luigi. Recently, Bowser gave Mario Aids, but throughout recent interviews, Bowser has hinted that the incident was intentional.

Cultural Heritage: Russian, or so I suppose.

Legal Issues

Bowser was charged with rape/attempted rape of many YouTube Poop characters. Oddly, enough, one of his victims was Princess Peach's... castle. Yeah, that's right, he raped the building itself.

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No comment.

Quotes

  • "muahahahahahahah...."
  • "RAAAAAAAAWHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
  • "MARIO, HOW DARE YOU DISTURB MY FAMILY VACATION!!"

Trivia

  • Translators state that Bowser's a Gidrovlicheskiy engineer with Shui Shui difficulties. This has yet to be confirmed.
  • He can only laugh.
  • When asked why he ruins picnics, he just laughed and scratched his crotch, hinting that he has crabs.
  • Bowser has the ability to mysteriously change size from game to game. He can be as small as Mario, as large as a whale, or become anywhere like that in between.
  • He once pissed on a painting of Mario that was hanging in the Louvre.
  • According to Malleo, Bowser apparently has gay sex with Link in his spare time.
  • Despite that he is a villain in most Mario games, he has appeared as an Anti-Hero in a few games, such as Super Mario RPG, Super Paper Mario, and Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story.
  • According to Dr. Mario, he has HPV.

Gallery