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Heavy Weapons Guy

From Chewiki Archive - YouChew: 1% Funny, 99% Hot Gas
Revision as of 17:46, 12 June 2009 by Quax94 (talk | contribs) (lemme try this.)
CharNice.jpg This article is filed under Characters.

Heavy Weapons Guy is a fat, bald, maniacal Slavic man. He usually gets pissed when sombody touches his lover/gun/masturbatory aid, Sasha. He has yet to meet someone who can outsmart a bullet and enjoys massacaring thousands of people. In and out of battles he pays hookers to let him beat them up.

Cultural Heritage: Russian

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BOOLET.

Quotes

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WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!
Heavy Heavy

Oh my god, who touched Sasha? Alright... WHO TOUCHED MY GUN!?

Heavy Heavy

I am heavy weapons guy. AND THIS, is my weapon.

Heavy Heavy

Some people think they can outsmart me....maybe *sniff* maybe.... I have yet meet one that can outsmart BULLET.

Heavy Heavy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CRY SOME MORE

Heavy Heavy

MEDIC

Heavy Heavy

It costs 400,000 dollars to fire this weapon...for 12 seconds.

Heavy Heavy

MEDIIIIC

Heavy Heavy

DOCTAR

Heavy Heavy

I LOVE THIS DOCTAR!

Heavy Heavy

OM NOM NOM OM NOM

Heavy Heavy

YATATATATATATATATATDODODODUDUDADADADA KABOOM! KABOOM!

Heavy Heavy

I HEAR SOMEONE BUILDING DIAPER CHANGING STATION!

Heavy Heavy

WHAT WAS THAT SANDVICH? KILL THEM ALL? GOOD IDEA! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Trivia

  • He Is rumoured to be having an affair with Natasha
  • It is rumored that he may be in a relationship with the Soldier.
  • It is confirmed that he has a grandson, which is the main character of Quake 2.
  • Had a threesome with Sasha and BULLET at the same time. He humped Sasha while having BULLET shoved up his ass.
  • Robbed a Mcdonalds once
  • SASHA AND HIM HAVE SEX
  • Sasha was also raped by the Scout when he took her out for a steak dinner.
  • Leon, one of the Heavy's rivals, knows a way to outsmart his bullet, though he believes it's a lie.
  • Is sometimes called the Heavy.
  • Has a Medic fetish.
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    Heavy Weapons Guy laughing at the clowns in a circus.
  • Has yet to meet one who can outsmart bullshit
  • Was once killed by Gordon Freeman
  • It is believed that Heavy actually scared someone with the sandvich by putting an evil grin on it.
  • Being punched by his fists is similar to being hit by the following: an Axe, a Shovel, a Bottle (broken or not), A Bonesaw, a Wrench and a Kukri.

See Also