Ronald McDonald

This article is filed under Characters.

Ran Ran Ruu!

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Ronald McDonald is an advertising character turned devil who now kidnaps children in order to increase his army.

Story

In 1955, McDonald's was created. McDonald's needed a mascot in order to speed up the process of selling burgers, so they created Ronald McDonald. Things were fine until the mid 2000s, when criticisms of McDonald's by fat shits with no self-control started appearing in large numbers, which caused him to turn evil and kill the fat shits. Since then, he has found a new home in the center of the Earth devouring the souls of the obese and selling their bodies to McDonald's franchises all around the world.

Story 2

After 1988, McDonald's turned to shit, and Ronald turned shit along with the restaurant.

Quotes

• Ran Ran RU!!!
• Hambagaa! (Hamburger!)
• Moshi Moshi? (Hullo?)
• Go Active!
• I'm lovin' it!
• Did somebody say McDonalds?
• No, it's a cheeseburger!
• Sleep early, you'll be strong tommorow!

Facts

• Ronald McDonald is the final boss of Super Smash Bros. Brawl on impossible mode.
• He is friends with both Weegee and Giygas, since all three of them are masters of mind rape.
• When Ronald McDonald returns from his trip in hell, he will pass out infected hamburgers.
• He is not fat beacuse he doesn't eat at Burger King.
• Is massively popular for his "U.N. Owen Was Her?!" remix...(First video to the right)
• ...And his "Pokey Means Buisness!" remix...(Second video to the right)
• ...And his "Native Faith" remix...(Third video to the right)
• Claims that his feet are 4 hamburgers long.
• He is called Donald McDonald in Japan.
• You can usually find him rallying children when he isn't at McDonald's.
• Apparently, he's also a tall motherfucker.
• DON DON RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• In the '70s and '80s, he and his friends were actually loved by children. This was before McDonald's turned to shit in 1988, and again in the 2000s.
• He really hates prank callers. In fact, one time he was prank called, and it pissed him off so bad that he created an atomic explosion that destroyed half of the world.

Likes

• McDonalds (Are you serious?)
• Touhou Project
• Hatsune Miku
• Coca-Cola (has it at his restaurants)
• Grimace
• Birdie the Early Bird
• Mayor McCheese
• Big Mac (both the sandwich and the character).

Officer Big Mac, one of Ronald McDonald's psychotic friends.

Dislikes

• Burger King
  • Twilight and how Burger King's advertising it. (Even Ronald McGoddamned Donald knows that Twilight sucks!)
• KFC
• Wendy's
• Chick-fil-a
• Taco Bell
• People who prefer these restaurants over McDonalds
• Hamburglar (keeps trying to steal his hamburgers)
• Little Mac
• The corporate idiots that want him to retire from being McDonalds mascot because they believe he promotes obesity. (Seriously, though, who's that stupid to do that??)