Ophios

The Early Years

The Early Years of The Early Years

Born as an onion named "Jerry Tasslemen". Ophios lived a quiet life in the small town of Q'L. Usually spending most of his time hiding in the basement of his house, Ophios was a shy individual, who had dreams of going to earth, where he could be equal with most of it's denizens. He was granted permission to go to earth. Unfortunately, in the process, he had to leave behind most of what he loved, that being his extensive collection of navel lint (Of which he collected from other people, seeing as onions do not have navel lint).

Jerry, age 6

The Middle Years of The Early Years

Upon landing on earth, Jerry took on the name "Florian Schneider-Esleben". And took residence in the town of [Fresno CA], where he spent most of his time hiding in the basement of his house. The Eighties came, and Jerry Found himself the headman of a pop band, "The Tasslemen". the fame went to his head, and after 12 hit records, Jerry legally changed his name to Ophios, where upon he tried to assassinate Ronald Reagen, He was scolded for that.

Jerry, as he looked in his band

The Late Years of The Early Years

Ophios retired to his basement.

Return to the Net

Warning, from here on out, it gets factual!

Part One

June 01, 2006: Having stalked around Youtube for a while, Ophios decided to finally decided to sign up for it. Videos were eventually uploaded. Ophios never planned on doing anything else but video game videos, which was a change from his "No videos" plan. After a couple of months the Something Awful Zelda CD-i remixes came out...

Part Two

Out of ideas at the time, Ophios decided to make a video based on one of the songs of the Something Awful Zelda CD-i remixes. Two things happened.

• He made his most popular videos of all time
• He found youtube poop

While looking for scenes of the CD-i games, Ophios came across a particular video called [Philips ' Phrightphest], made by 1upclock. At first, the idea behind the video was novel, and pushed it out of his mind for a week or two. Busily working on what would become [Gux - Zelda CD-i Experience]

Being bored one day, Ophios returned to the Philips' Phrightphest video, looking through the comments, he saw a comment left by "buh6173"

• Good 'n all, but you kinda raped most of that from Dukeoffortuneman, especially "My boy!" The princess/king laughter is some of the most disturbing crap I've seen, and OH MY GOD, YOU STOLE THE FUNKY FISHERMAN.

Ophios set out for this Duke...

Part Three

Upon searching for Dukeoffortuneman, he found this video [Robotnik Saves the Trees]. While at first, he didn't think much of it. This idea of making "poop", caught on. After some work, [Link's magic rainbow adventure] was made.

The Story behind the poops

This isn't about all my poops, just the ones I like, or I think is important

Battle of 1986

[Battle of 1986] Since day one, Ophios promised to be somewhat a frontier explorer. This video shows the beginning of this promise, using clips that were not used before in poops.

This also shows the beginning of the kleptomania.

Wild Geetaar

[Wild Geetaar] After just four videos, Ophios ran out of new videos to make poops out of. He thought of calling it quits after this video. But reluctantly stayed on board by recycling video he had already used. Staying in hopes of getting new stuff to poop.

LOZ: Rule 34

[LOZ: Rule 34] This video is important, as this is one of the earliest examples of "Cum" and "Dinner". This video received comments from, MrSimon, JingWu, and DukeOfFortuneMan

Tube Wars Trilogy: The first trilogy

• [Tube wars: A New Vacuum cleaner]
• [Tube wars: The Vacuum Strikes Back]
• [Tube wars: Return of the Dub]

Ophios wanted to avoid using the sonic cartoons for poops, seeing as how poops were already made from them. But also seeing as how there was little else to make poops from, he reluctantly used those videos.

This was the first planned trilogy.

The Tripoops: The second trilogy

• [Tripoop of courage]
• [Tripoop of Wisdom]
• [Tripoop of power]

If Ophios had his way, this would have been a twelve part mini-series. Unfortunatly unable to squeeze enough funny out of each of the episodes, had to convert them all into three bigger videos.

COMBOA BEBOb

[COMBOA BEBOb] Ophios noticed a distinct lack of bleach in poops, He tried to fix that.

Dexter

• [Mock Two-wa]
• [Epic Dexter Manuver]
• [Hugla Dexter Hugla]

Ophios also noticed a lack of Cartoon network poops.

Or were these made for the sake of nostalgia?

This was not a planned trilogy.

Aphex Siamese Murmur

[Aphex Siamese Murmur] This is important because it's the only video of Ophios' that made it to the top 100 poops.

It should be pointed out that the title comes from the phrases:

• Aphex Twin
• Siamese Twins
• Murmur Twins

Summer Movie

• [Summer Movie]
• [Summer Movie - rejected material]

The first video made by the Summer Movie Gang, Although in the description Ophios claimed this would be the last video he would make, that would end up being 100% untrue.

For more information about this event, go to the Summer Movie Gang page.

Ill lIlI lI II & Ill lIlI lI

• [Ill lIlI lI II]
• [Ill lIlI lI]

While these videos aren't particularly interesting or important, it should be pointed out that the titles translate to ILL LILI LI, or ILL LILI LIE. This phrase was used becuase it would show up on top of the video as a bunch of pipes "|"

Freakazoid

• [My cheeks]
• [Intendo Humour]
• [interrobang]

Ophios is a big fan a Freakazoid, and saddened by the lack a Freakazoid poops. This was not a planned trilogy.

Old school

• [Black white Pranzo avuto un sapore]
• [OLD SCHOOL YO!!!]
• [Older school:]

Once again, scraping around the poop frontier, Ophios made these.

The Maks: The third trilogy

• [The maks part one]
• [The maks part two]
• [The maks part three]

Three poops made from the movie "The mask". This is the last planned trilogy.

4 feet and 33 inches

[4 feet and 33 inches] Strange idea that came to Ophios in a dream. Warning: if you attempt to make poop from a concert performance, chose a "weird" song. or an Opera.

Sonic revisited

• [Sonic revisited]
• [Sonic revisited 2]
• [Sonic revisited 3]
• [Sonic revisited 4]

While this was planned to go on for more then four episodes. Sonic Revisited is on (Hopefully) temporary suspension.

Wally WAnker

• [Wally WAnker: Mousse]
• [I broke the wonka wash]

Poops made from the movie "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"

The Ultraburger

[The Ultraburger] The Ultraburger is the cousin of the Holiday Sandwich.

This video contains clips from almost every video Ophios has made a poop from.

The really forgotten poops.

Not every poop gets uploaded, and not every idea is made into poop.

Unnamed Loony Tunes Poop

At one point, Ophios was working on a "Looney Tunes" collaboration with MrDrunkenFox. The collaboration fell through, and the video has been buried, never to see the light of day.

Unmade ideas

(TODO: list unmade ideas)

Found "lost poop"

Although there are two Lost poops, in Ophios' video collection, they are technically not lost, as they are uploaded.

Experimental poops

(TODO: describe Experimental poops)

Trippy Acid Poop

[*Trippy*|`Acid`|{Poop}] [Trippy acid poop 2: Intermission 2]

Sónico en español

[Sónico en español]

Hypnodad

[Hypnodad]

CD-i The TV show

[CD-i The TV show]

Meta-Anti-Poop

[Meta-Anti-Poop]

World's shortest Youtube poop

[World's shortest Youtube poop]

Psudo-poops

List of videos that can be both classified as poops, and not poops.

MST3K - Pop Culture

[MST3K - Pop Culture] Classified: NOT POOP

secnirp em esucxe llew

[secnirp em esucxe llew] Classified:NOT POOP

Meta-Anti-Poop

[Meta-Anti-Poop] Classified: POOP

Ed Stuck the radio in the 'fridge

[Ed Stuck the radio in the 'fridge] Classified:POOP

World's shortest Youtube poop

[World's shortest Youtube poop] Classified: POOP

RCT3 - Cooking

[RCT3 - Cooking] Classified: NOT POOP

Video game videos

(TODO: Finish this bit too)

Trackmania

• [Split Pea]
• [Round the Bend]
• [Trackmania]

SumoTori Dreams

• [Sumotori Dreams video]

Wario Ware inc.

• [Stage Seven - Wario]
• [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mU0dr7vHTA%7C Stage six - Jimmy (one last time)
• [Stage five - Kat]
• [Stage five - Orbulon]
• [Stage five - Dr. Crygor]
• [Stage four - Jimmy (Again)]
• [Stage three- 9-volt]
• [Stage three- Dribble & Spitz]
• [Stage three - Mona]
• [Stage two - Jimmy T]
• [Stage one - Wario]

Cameltry

[[|]]

Super Smash Brothers

[[|]]

Pieces

[[|]]

Roller Coaster Tycoon

[[|]]

Misc. Game videos

• [Rush 2049 - Spin]
• [Messing with corrupt]
• [Samuri Kirby]
• [Senior Citizen Olympics]

Music videos

CD-i Something Awful Remixes

[crok-we32-Hurtdeer - Rigamarole] [AvidAcid - How About A Kiss (For Luck!)] [Rikolai - Why] [Gux - Zelda CD-i experience] A little information about Gux - Zelda CD-i experience: Gux - Zelda CD-i experience was the hardest to make video, ever. Windows Movie Makerfor some reason couldn't handle the MP3 of the song too well.

(TODO: Learn quote function) So most of the video was made, by memory of the song.

A case of Remix Fever

[A case of Remix Fever] "Spring" Contains samples from "A case of spring fever"

Core

[Core - Extended Version] "Core - The extended Version" Contains samples from CD-i Zelda Games

BAM! - The remix

[BAM! - The remix] "BAM! - The remix" Contains samples from "Easy-Off Bam Commercial"

Mr simon rant- The song

[Mr simon rant- The song] "Mr simon rant- The song" Contains samples from "[The new "Youtube Poop" Rant.]"

More Music I Made

[More Music I Made] "Spring - Extended Remix" Contains samples from "A Case of Spring Fever", and "The Cautious Twins" "Wild Regge" Contains samples from "Wild Guitar" "Wonka Sunshine" Contains samples from "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory", and "The Sunshine Makers"

Kleptomania

If ophios steals a joke from you, either:

• He didn't know of the joke beforehand, and is just a coincidence.
• He loved your joke.

Trivia

• A fellow by the name of HugeDumbass who was a fanatic, who visited Ophios' house, leaving Valentines in his front porch for three months.
• This page was made entirely in the third person.
• While he doesn't do it while typing, Ophios has been known to go for days saying nothing but Mystery Science Theater 3000 Quotes.
• Is a Scratchophile, which could be explained by the fact that he is a fucking toucan.
• Despite the fact that he is now a toucan, Ophios still smells of onions.

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The last sighting of Ophios, before retiring to his basement

Future

Ophios needs ideas for poops. (You gotta help him) Please contact him via youtube if you have any ideas for him. (TODO: Clean basement, go to grocery store, hide bodies.)